Church

Want to know why I can't find a church? Because when I do try to go around here, I pick ones that are ridiculous.

Sunday morning I seriously debated going to church...I didn't want to drive to Birmingham (which is where the closest decent church is), but I've really just been craving church. So I decided to go to this church that I'd been to with N. before. I remember it being a little charismatic friendly, so I thought why not?

It started out well...I sat beside a guy a little older than me who invited me to go to church with him later that night (I didn't, but it felt good to be asked) and the music was great. People dance in the aisles, and raise there hands and shake and all that fun stuff...I liked it before because it's cool to be around people who worship differently than me. It still is. I like that part of it.

On to the not so cool parts of the church.

1.) I should have known we were off to a rocky start when the preacher hadn't even thought about starting to preach at 12:00! NOON people...everyone else I know was just getting out of church. Still...I can deal with that...I just wasn't prepared for an afternoon marathon of church.

2.) and this is the biggy. The pastor said some stuff that was CRAP! Just ridiculous. Here are some quotes from the sermon...

"The Holy Spirit is our Verizon wireless networks...it follows us around like all those people on the Verizon wireless commercial, making sure we never lose connection"

WHAT??? Seriously...where did this come from. He said the Holy Spirit gave it to him right before he started to speak...maybe he did...but maybe we can just stick to the Word?

"The Holy Spirit is like google in your stomach" (Why the stomach?!?!? IDK) followed by "Pat your neighbor on the belly and say 'google's in there'"

*Let me just insert here that if my sheriff friend had patted my stomach, I might have left.

"The Holy Spirit is our own personal GPS system"

and finally...and my favorite...

"The Holy Spirit knows everything...even how to fix a backhoe"

So much for that church....too bad I really like the concept of it, and the fact that it is crazy diverse, and the fact that most of the staff are recovering addicts of one kind or another.

I hope when I was furiously writing down these quotes, the guy beside me realized it was because I thought they were silly...not because I thought they were so insightful.

Geeze......