I'm a slow learner...

I love that on Saturday April 4th, I posted about how God has a plan for my life and I'm not gonna worry and blah...blah...blah.

I love that I was feeling like I had it all together.

I love that God pulls the rug from underneath my feet when I start to feel all high and mighty.

See, on Sunday April 5th. N proposed to L. I knew it was coming. I thought I'd be okay when it happened...see God has a plan for my life that does not include N. I'm SO okay with that. Working with him has lead me to the realization that we were not good for each other...and never would have been.

When I found out yesterday I was NOT okay with it. I pouted all day long, treated N like crap, and basically acted like a big, cry baby. WHAT IN THE WORLD. I've been happy about their relationship since I moved here...Why did I feel so upset now?

In my mind she won and I lost. Oh My Goodness...since when is it a game? Why am I acting like it's a game? It's NOT a game. She didn't win, I didn't lose. Something wonderful happened on Sunday night to a person I care a lot about. I should have been so excited...but all I could focus on was "Oh my goodness, I lost." I didn't lose anything.

I'm embarrassed I acted like a 2 year-old all day long. But I apologized, we talked about it, and all is well.

I'm also glad to see that some things in life have to be battled daily. It's not a figure it out, move on, and never deal with it again kind of life. God wants a relationship with me, and quite frankly, i'm at this point in life where I need to be constantly reminded of that.

*No stalker news lately...life's been kind of boring in that aspect. :)