Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I have a stalker...

Okay..So I have a stalker. Don't worry...he's well into his 80's, so I could take him down if I needed to. I've known "dirty old men" before....but this guy has the others beat. He's a strange bird.

So it starts out by his just being overly friendly to me. Stopping me when he sees me and giving me long hugs (which I HATE). I used to give j. a hard time about not hugging just anyone...but I get it now. It's my new rule. Thanks to stalker.

It progressed to him stopping by my house to talk. We (no HE) would talk about astronomy, the nervous system etc. He used to be a professor in Puerto Rico and is very well read.

It turned into his kissing my cheek.

Then he wanted me to kiss him (I don't...don't worry...I told him I don't believe in kissing)

Then he started grabbing my face and looking into my eyes.

One day he caressed my arm as he told me how beautiful my hands are.

I've been given gifts of bananas (about 10 of them), fried potatos (a.k.a. potato chips), and a card with a poem.

The poem is titled "To a Wonderful Girl." It is an acrostic with my name. Enjoy

O dic is for lyric poetry;
L ike a poem, sweet is our life;
I n this world too full of contrasts,
V anishing thinking could be; for
I nnocent we're born and die...
A ll our knowledge could wreck!

S incerity always
I s much better than
N othing or emptiness...
G reat is only our
L ord, the Creator of life,
E arnestness brings us the success@
T o be saved and free...
O veranxious maybe our dreams...
N ever be confused, It's true!

You're welcome.

OMG...This just in. I had to stop between the G and the L because he came in. This is not good, he probably thinks I am just studying the card because I love him so much.

He came bearing a gift of little dinner peppermints. The wrapper says things like "I love you" and "You hold my heart" and "Love of my life."

And did I mention he grabbed my face and started trying to pop the zit on my forehead WITHOUT ASKING! Gross!

I have told N. and he is going to address the problem this afternoon. We've tried to do other things...and be nice about it...but it's getting ridiculous. So this may be the only stalker post...but I'll definitely keep you all updated.

Ask me to tell you the story in person...it's way better and there are more details.

Off to work.

3 comments:

Rachel said...

Haha... ok, so it's not really funny, but it is kinda funny! You're the best! Be careful out there :)

O-Town said...

Rachel...it's definitely funny. Really annoying, but really funny. How's sub life?

Anonymous said...

hilarious! hilarious! hilarious! So much for being an affectionate person in your lifetime.