I feel compelled to share...

There have been moments in my life that felt like hell.
There have been time periods in my life when the over arching emotion I felt was fear or sadness.
But honestly...they are small.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he was "aww the things you've had to overcome..." - and not in a bad way and I wasn't at all offended. It fit perfectly well into the conversation we were having. And so, I began to mull it over in my mind. He's not the first person to have said it...and lately when I've heard it, it's gnawed on me. SO - I thought about it. And, over all...while there are certainly things I'd change. I am happy...and have felt loved and supported on my journey.

It makes me wonder what little trivial things I've blown out of proportion.

When I began this post I thought I was going to list the terrible...but now I see I am not. Instead I want to talk about Catherine (not her real name).

Catherine was in 4th period and was called down to the office. She came back and asked me to step outside to speak with her. I did.
She began by telling me that someone had called DCS on her family. She said her sister told someone at school she'd been raped last night and she needed to go back down to the office because her mother was there. Then she cried.

I don't teach elementary school because I'm about as sympathetic as a rock. Not for lack of empathy, but because it's just awkward...but I wanted to cry with this child.

In the moment I could know her uncertainty and the fear she surely feels. Maybe there's more to the story than I could ever know.

All I know is that she is living a type of hell I've never known. So many of my students are living a type of hell I've never known.

I told someone the other day my life is great. I'm happy and content. And today I am affirmed. My life is SO GREAT!

Join me in praying for Catherine today...

Thoughts...

I was reading today from this website.



I was particularly moved by this passage:



In Our Lord's life Jerusalem was the place where He reached the climax of His Father's will upon the Cross, and unless we go with Jesus there we will have no companionship with Him. Nothing ever discouraged Our Lord on His way to Jerusalem. He never hurried through certain villages where He was persecuted, or lingered in others where He was blessed. Neither gratitude nor ingratitude turned Our Lord one hair's breadth away from His purpose to go up to Jerusalem. (emphasis mine)



I particularly like the bold part. He never hurried when persecuted: Okay, I get that. God endured what he needed to endure for the good of humanity. I got it.



The part that is beautiful to me is he never lingered when blessed.



I think it is easier to not hurry than it is to not linger. I like to linger. I like to linger in places that are comfortable. I like to linger in places that are familiar. I like to linger in places where I feel blessed. So my thought for today is....Could holding on to good things be a sin? I think yes. Good is the enemy to Great. And I believe today that lingering in good places keeps us from experiencing the GREAT THINGS God has for us.

Absent.

So I haven't posted in a while.

Why?

1. School has started.
2. Cheerleading has started.
3. Life is busy.
4. Cheerleading has started.
5. Football season has started.
6. Cheerleading has started.
7. My graduate classes have started.
8. Cheerleading has started.
9. Not much exciting has happened.
10. Cheerleading has started.

So you get the idea. Cheerleading takes over my life in the fall. Since the girls don't try out until the 2nd or 3rd week in August and the Fresh/Soph football season starts the last week of August of the 1st week of September I can't ever cancel practice...unless I have a meeting...which still means I work late.

That coupled with the fact that I don't have internet at my house = not many posts.

If anyone knows a wireless internet provider...that doesn't require me to get cable...and is cheap...please let me know. I've been unsuccessful thus far.

SO...

Let's talk about the fun stuff...

This weekend for example....

Friday night Stephen's parents took us to see Chihuly @ Cheekwood. If you live in Nashville. GO! It was so cool....and if you get a chance to be sneaky and touch the glass....DO IT! :)

Saturday was GEORGE and REBA! It was such a good show.
Le'Ann Womack opened up and was WONDERFUL.
Reba came out and was AMAZING!!!! She looks good to have been around forever, and she sounded amazing.
GEORGE was B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. - His tight wranglers....starched shirt...black cowboy hat...velvet voice...and don't even get me STARTED on all the video they played of him doing the cowboy thing and riding horses....He's just a beautiful man....and if I were 30 years older.....

Sunday -

also. SO. FUN.

I did the Nashville Challenge with some girls from work. If you don't know about it check out www.challengenation.org and make plans to do it next year. It was a 3 hour scavenger hunt around the city. My teams one goal was to beat the other teachers...and we failed...BUT - We came in 18th out of roughly 65 other teams (i think)...and our time was about 88 minutes.

Some of the things we did...

• Took a picture on the Shelby Street bridge mimicking the batman building
• Took our picture out Ft. Nashboro
• Begged a man in a Vince Young jersey to throw a football to us.
• Begged a band to let us get on stage and act like rock stars
• Built a pyramid on the capital lawn
• Took pictures on top of the ruins of the capital columns
• Scoured town for a building built in 1895 (that would make the building HALF as old as Nashville if anyone is wondering)
• Took a photo with the picture of the part of the Aycock statue that resembles a rose...(p.s. NO PART of the aycock statue resembles a rose in my opinion).
• Successfully located someone with a drivers license from a state that begins with the letter "N"
• Sat on some map of TN and took a picture with Springfield (the city)
• Did a Charlie's Angle pose with a cop (and we found a friend!)

Some other things we did that were NOT on the list:

• Yelled at a woman in the lobby of the Hilton
• Asked every single customer in Hooters if they had a license from an N state.
• Asked every single person on the street if they were from Nashville
• Asked a woman in a skirt to squat as "low as she possibly could" to take our picture (she didn't...and we're glad)
• Chased a car down the road because it had a New York license plate
• Ran around the city
• Had lots and lots of fun with some really fun coworkers

Overall...It was a WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

I don't ever want to care...

There are just some things I don't ever want to care about.

I don't ever want to care if all the blinds in my house are open to the same level.
I don't ever want to care if everything in my house matches.
I don't ever want to be jealous.
I don't ever want to REALLY care what people think about me.
I don't ever want to care about test scores.

But Mostly...

I don't ever want to care if all the blinds are the same level.

I just listen to people talk sometimes and I don't understand why they care about the things they care about. I'm sure they feel the same way about things I care about (owning a copper kitchen aid mixer for example).

I care if I have a house...and if other people have a place to live.
I care that I can afford to keep my house clean and liveable.
I care that I am loved.
I care that I don't hurt others.
I care that my students learn to be productive...and learn to be happy.

I also care about my feet and copper kitchen aid mixers....but those things make me sound shallow!

Stream of Consciousness

SO...

I'm getting ready to start the year.

And here are my thoughts.

Teaching takes way more time than I gave it last year.

I read a news article this morning that says that the state is going to announce Proficient and Advanced scores this week. I am hopeful that my kids still make significant gains.

I can't help but feel like this is important.

I know some non-TFA teachers who think test scores are dumb. And I do to when I'm feeling pressure...but I also think that if your kids are learning they WILL pass the state tests.

Passing tests does not equate learning...

BUT -

If you learn you past tests....

I'm on the fence.

I'm finding that I'm on the fence about a whole lot of things lately.

I hope I'm not becoming less opinionated.

My dear crazy friend is starting a new food fanatic crazy thing. Some of it I agree with...Some of it I think is in excess....I think that it is all good. Just not all necessary...but, the problem is that I'm just SO ON THE FENCE about all of it. Even after reading a lot about it.

I'll be back to talk more about raw milk and real meat.

Sorry for the random stream of consciousness.