Happy Birthday Laptop

I got an email from Best Buy today letting me know that it was my laptop's birthday.

And so now I'm sad.

It's weird to think about that impulse purchase...and why I made it.

And it's sad.

Really. really sad.

I bought it when S. went to Colorado to park ranger camp....because I couldn't stand not seeing him when we talked.

I still can't stand not seeing him. Or talking to him.

Only now a computer purchase won't fix the problem.

If it were only that easy.

Dear Laptop,

happy birthday...even though I have no idea where you are or when the last time I used you was. Today, for your birthday. I will try to at least locate you. Maybe I'll give you more attention soon.

Sincerely,
Me

Summery

I'm excited about summer.

1 - It means a trip to Colorado to see Katie...I'm not sure why I'm SO excited about that...but I am


2 - I found a summer job. It's only 3.5 weeks...1/2 days...and exactly the pay I needed


3 - I'm going to work on my house...I'm hoping to close in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS?!?!?!?!?!?


4 - I want to just relax.


5. I want to pick up a hobby


6. I want to force myself to make new friends


7. I want to write - Not here necessarily, although maybe. I really want a place where I can just be....and open up to the Lord. I used to write a lot more. For myself. I NEVER DO anymore. When I do find 3 minutes to start...I just don't know what to say. So - I want to do that again. Even if it just means a lot of sitting before the words come.


Summer,

Hurry up will ya.

We've got big plans - that involve a lot of nothing.

I've never been so excited.

Gloomy Day

I think I sometimes don't realize how great it is to have such a wonderful group of precious, precious friends. There are 11 of us total...and we're not all super close. We lived together in Auburn, but we weren't all best friends and we didn't all always hang out. There were pockets of us who were really close, and there are great ties between those pockets. Anyways...when I left Auburn, I thought I was glad to go. Get out of college. Live alone.... Not always have 10 girls around....always. But I often find myself thinking that was such a sweet time that created such sweet friendship...even if we don't all talk a lot. or call each other. or keep up like we should. One the girl's dad died last night in his sleep. One of her really good friends called us all. So we could hear it first hand. Because even in her own grief she is concerned with being polite. And because we all love her and can wrap her in prayer. But the part that is most beautiful is how, even beyond that. We have all spent the last hour or so...emailing, texting and gchatting to make sure that everyone heard from Lauri. To make sure everyone knew...and knew to be praying. My prayers are for Lauren today. That she feels indescribable comfort at such a sad, sad time.

Why I Like Him...

It's not a specific him...

It applies to all of the hims there have ever been ...

I was sitting here at work watching my lovely babies test...when I was thinking about why I like (a specific) him...and consequently, why I don't like a couple of different hims.

It's been sort of like speed dating over here.

Several different boys...some I like, some I don't.

They all have 1 thing in common - actually, several things.

1. they love Jesus
2. they are attractive
3. they are smart/successful/driven
4. i can talk easily with them
5. they like me

So ... why do I like some boys and not others...if they all meet the above criteria.

It's sass. I. do. not. want. to. date. someone. I. can. run. all. over.

Maybe it's because when I'm comfortable I have a big personality...and I AM SASSY...and I can be bold and abrasive and bossy and lots of other synonyms to the above words.

In a relationship I crave someone who tells me no...a man who will push back...someone who can be kind, without being a pushover.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. BE. BOSSY. in a relationship...but I will. I'm an envelope pusher....It's just who I am.

So - boys of the world...STOP BEING A PUSHOVER! I don't care if we just met. BE SASSY! It will only win you points in my book...


Passive Aggressiveness is for wimps.

Dream 3

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

So it's just been a really long week, with lots going on...there have been ZERO nights to lay on the couch and watch t.v. and I've only gotten to climb twice. Not a typical week.

So, maybe it was the exhaustion...maybe it was the glass of wine before bedtime...maybe it was the fact that I'm coming of of a medication. Anyways...last night's dream might beat all.

Blue will represent the dream...I'll change to black for explanations:

My mom, dad, sister, niece and I headed out to the lake for a day of deep see fishing my parents are divorced...and I KNOW you can't deep sea fish at a lake...never mind my niece is 8 weeks old. My dad and I set out to fish while my sister, mom and niece were laying out on the shore. We received a phone call and everyone besides me and my dad headed home because the baby needed some Tylenol.

My dad and I headed back to the shore. My dad left to put the boat up and I took a walk. When I got back, it was dark and I couldn't find my dad. ANYWHERE. I immediately panicked. I looked all over, asked a bunch of people and never found him. I called my mom. After a while I started sobbing. My mom decided to come back to help me find him.

When she arrived, she wasn't my mother...she was Cassie. We started a search of the boat dock and areas around the lake. After a while we decided to go to a pottery painting place.

Once we arrived at the pottery painting place (now it is nighttime), it was no longer my dad who was missing, but Stephen. At the potter place I begin frantically calling Stephen and get the owner of the potter shop involved. Finally, a lady answers Stephen's phone and gives me an address and tells me I can meet her there. I hear Stephen's voice...he is distressed.

The lady who owns the potter shop begins talking to this couple named x and kitten. this is a real couple on climbfind...but I've never met them. So the couple lets me know that Stephen has been climbing for this girl for a while and she is safe.

The lady gives us a time line of Stephen's life climbing with this girl for the past several months.
Cassie had to be at school at 6 the next morning. So we were on a time constraint (it took 6 hours to get home from the lake). The lady calls me back and tells me I need to be there by midnight, but I need to make sure "my friend" can climb down the hill to where she is holding Stephen.

Cassie decides we should call the cops.

The police don't really want to listen. They hear me out, but don't offer to help me...they just tell me not to go.

I'm SOBBING the whole time.

Then...it becomes midnight, and Cassie says WE HAVE TO LEAVE HIM AND GO HOME...Because she has to be at school at 6 a.m.

Then I wake up and realize it's 5 a.m. - Every light in my house is on. My blood pressure is up...my heart is racing...and friends is playing on television.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!