A Day in The Life:

Summer Update

2011-08-05T11:36:00.002-05:00

So...I just read this post and realized that I never started writing...Oh well. There's always now.

So an update...for the two of you who still stop by from time to time.

1. I went to Colorado. It was good and terrible at the same time. No other explanation is gonna happen here. I'm not airing all my laundry for the interent world.

2. The summer job was great. Only I didn't get paid until a month after I was supposed to . BLEH. BOO for the organization at lead. They do education decently though, so I guess it's a trade off.

3. I closed on my house. I'm a homeowner with lots to do these days. Maybe some DIY projects coming to the blog world soon.

4. I did LOTS of relaxing

5. I didn't pick up a hobby. Again...there's always now.

6. I made really good friends with my bible study girls. and with an old roommie. and with my kickball team. Goal. Accomplished.

7. I've already mentioned this. I didn't write.

**Oh well.

Anyone of the two of you know how to make this look like a real blog and not like a crappy blogger blog?? I'm sure there's a way, I just don't know how.

Happy Birthday Laptop

2011-05-18T13:37:00.003-05:00

I got an email from Best Buy today letting me know that it was my laptop's birthday.

And so now I'm sad.

It's weird to think about that impulse purchase...and why I made it.

And it's sad.

Really. really sad.

I bought it when S. went to Colorado to park ranger camp....because I couldn't stand not seeing him when we talked.

I still can't stand not seeing him. Or talking to him.

Only now a computer purchase won't fix the problem.

If it were only that easy.

Dear Laptop,

happy birthday...even though I have no idea where you are or when the last time I used you was. Today, for your birthday. I will try to at least locate you. Maybe I'll give you more attention soon.

Sincerely,
Me

Summery

2011-04-19T14:49:00.003-05:00

I'm excited about summer.

1 - It means a trip to Colorado to see Katie...I'm not sure why I'm SO excited about that...but I am

2 - I found a summer job. It's only 3.5 weeks...1/2 days...and exactly the pay I needed

3 - I'm going to work on my house...I'm hoping to close in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS?!?!?!?!?!?

4 - I want to just relax.

5. I want to pick up a hobby

6. I want to force myself to make new friends

7. I want to write - Not here necessarily, although maybe. I really want a place where I can just be....and open up to the Lord. I used to write a lot more. For myself. I NEVER DO anymore. When I do find 3 minutes to start...I just don't know what to say. So - I want to do that again. Even if it just means a lot of sitting before the words come.

Summer,

Hurry up will ya.

We've got big plans - that involve a lot of nothing.

I've never been so excited.

Gloomy Day

2011-04-15T09:48:00.002-05:00

I think I sometimes don't realize how great it is to have such a wonderful group of precious, precious friends. There are 11 of us total...and we're not all super close. We lived together in Auburn, but we weren't all best friends and we didn't all always hang out. There were pockets of us who were really close, and there are great ties between those pockets. Anyways...when I left Auburn, I thought I was glad to go. Get out of college. Live alone.... Not always have 10 girls around....always. But I often find myself thinking that was such a sweet time that created such sweet friendship...even if we don't all talk a lot. or call each other. or keep up like we should. One the girl's dad died last night in his sleep. One of her really good friends called us all. So we could hear it first hand. Because even in her own grief she is concerned with being polite. And because we all love her and can wrap her in prayer. But the part that is most beautiful is how, even beyond that. We have all spent the last hour or so...emailing, texting and gchatting to make sure that everyone heard from Lauri. To make sure everyone knew...and knew to be praying. My prayers are for Lauren today. That she feels indescribable comfort at such a sad, sad time.

Why I Like Him...

2011-03-30T13:14:00.003-05:00

It's not a specific him...

It applies to all of the hims there have ever been ...

I was sitting here at work watching my lovely babies test...when I was thinking about why I like (a specific) him...and consequently, why I don't like a couple of different hims.

It's been sort of like speed dating over here.

Several different boys...some I like, some I don't.

They all have 1 thing in common - actually, several things.

1. they love Jesus
2. they are attractive
3. they are smart/successful/driven
4. i can talk easily with them
5. they like me

So ... why do I like some boys and not others...if they all meet the above criteria.

It's sass. I. do. not. want. to. date. someone. I. can. run. all. over.

Maybe it's because when I'm comfortable I have a big personality...and I AM SASSY...and I can be bold and abrasive and bossy and lots of other synonyms to the above words.

In a relationship I crave someone who tells me no...a man who will push back...someone who can be kind, without being a pushover.

I. DON'T. WANT. TO. BE. BOSSY. in a relationship...but I will. I'm an envelope pusher....It's just who I am.

So - boys of the world...STOP BEING A PUSHOVER! I don't care if we just met. BE SASSY! It will only win you points in my book...

Passive Aggressiveness is for wimps.

Dream 3

2011-03-26T11:24:00.003-05:00

OH. MY. GOODNESS.

So it's just been a really long week, with lots going on...there have been ZERO nights to lay on the couch and watch t.v. and I've only gotten to climb twice. Not a typical week.

So, maybe it was the exhaustion...maybe it was the glass of wine before bedtime...maybe it was the fact that I'm coming of of a medication. Anyways...last night's dream might beat all.

Blue will represent the dream...I'll change to black for explanations:

My mom, dad, sister, niece and I headed out to the lake for a day of deep see fishing my parents are divorced...and I KNOW you can't deep sea fish at a lake...never mind my niece is 8 weeks old. My dad and I set out to fish while my sister, mom and niece were laying out on the shore. We received a phone call and everyone besides me and my dad headed home because the baby needed some Tylenol.

My dad and I headed back to the shore. My dad left to put the boat up and I took a walk. When I got back, it was dark and I couldn't find my dad. ANYWHERE. I immediately panicked. I looked all over, asked a bunch of people and never found him. I called my mom. After a while I started sobbing. My mom decided to come back to help me find him.

When she arrived, she wasn't my mother...she was Cassie. We started a search of the boat dock and areas around the lake. After a while we decided to go to a pottery painting place.

Once we arrived at the pottery painting place (now it is nighttime), it was no longer my dad who was missing, but Stephen. At the potter place I begin frantically calling Stephen and get the owner of the potter shop involved. Finally, a lady answers Stephen's phone and gives me an address and tells me I can meet her there. I hear Stephen's voice...he is distressed.

The lady who owns the potter shop begins talking to this couple named x and kitten. this is a real couple on climbfind...but I've never met them. So the couple lets me know that Stephen has been climbing for this girl for a while and she is safe.

The lady gives us a time line of Stephen's life climbing with this girl for the past several months.
Cassie had to be at school at 6 the next morning. So we were on a time constraint (it took 6 hours to get home from the lake). The lady calls me back and tells me I need to be there by midnight, but I need to make sure "my friend" can climb down the hill to where she is holding Stephen.

Cassie decides we should call the cops.

The police don't really want to listen. They hear me out, but don't offer to help me...they just tell me not to go.

I'm SOBBING the whole time.

Then...it becomes midnight, and Cassie says WE HAVE TO LEAVE HIM AND GO HOME...Because she has to be at school at 6 a.m.

Then I wake up and realize it's 5 a.m. - Every light in my house is on. My blood pressure is up...my heart is racing...and friends is playing on television.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!

I know the header needs some work

2011-03-09T10:00:00.002-06:00

But hopefully you can actually see the blog now instead of the annoying box.

DREAM 2

2011-03-04T11:11:00.003-06:00

Okay ... This is a dream from last week...But first you need the backstory.

I dated this guy casually when I lived in Dothan. He was great...but he knows everything...so for privacy sake, we'll refer to him as arrogant (even though he's really not).

We dated for several weeks...maybe even a couple months. I don't remember the details.

What I do remember was WE.NEVER.KISSED.

In retrospect...not a bad thing...at the time I was like "HELLO KISS ME ALREADY."

I like to kiss boys.

The end.

Okay - Back to the dream:

I was teaching school (which is what I do for a living) and my principal decided we need to all take part in a helicopter training program. So we went through this program and it was my time to actually be in charge of the controls. My principal decided it would be a good idea for me to fly my WHOLE CLASS (because whole classes fit in helicopters...didn't you know that).

Anyways...I was super nervous - 1. because it was my first time flying and 2. because there would be 20+ people in the chopper with me.

SO - She says "no worries, you'll have a co-pilot"

I get in the plane to meet my co pilot and I see him. Arrogant. I was glad to see him...because I haven't in over a year...maybe over 2 years. ANYWAYS...it made me WAY more nervous.

So we fly my students around. **And for the record, he wasn't arrogant AT.ALL...but really helpful** (you like how i feel the need to defend him...even though it was A DREAM!...I'm telling you...my dreams are real)

SO - We get down, park the chopper and then go in this closet and make out like crazy.

what. a. dream.

I definitely had to email said boy and tell him about it. He thought it was funny and said "I would have kissed you if I would have known it would prevent you from having crazy dreams."

Geeze Louise!

Happy Dreaming!

DREAM 1

2011-03-03T07:24:00.002-06:00

I've got to start documenting my dreams. They are OUT OF CONTROL these days. So...This is the first installment of my dreams. I'm sure I will be updating regularly.

I wish I had started blogging about them when the dreams started. I mean, they have been crazy. It started a few weeks after S and I broke up...but the other day someone suggested to me that the cause could be my new "organic" (it's not really organic) diet. I wonder if he could be right.

ANYWAYS -

Dream 1:

So last night I dreamed I was walking around in someones front yard. I think it belonged to the K's from Dothan, but I could be mistaken. Anyways...all of a sudden this neon orange and white frog started hoping around....I noticed AT ONCE that it was poisonous (it looked like a frog from the IPhone app, Pocket frogs). Anyways...like I said, poisonous. But, I thought:

"No big deal...it's just a frog. . . I'll stay out of it's path"

WRONG.

He began to pursue me. Chasing me ALL.OVER.THE.YARD. which at this point had at least quadrupled in size.

I got bit. I started writhing in pain.

I was lying in front of the door screaming in pain....

and then the dream changed.

I was on the way to a cheer competition with my dad and sister. I was complaining about my foot and Emily was complaining about needing a uniform. SO - We decided to break into the police station. My dad was CERTAIN that it would be okay.

He took MY cheer leading clothes and went in. He came out a few minutes later without my clothes. They had confiscated them because they realized he was breaking in.

And that my friends. Was last night's dream.

It's seriously like I'm living in an alternate universe at night. Stay tuned. I've got some old ones to post, and I'm sure new ones will come.

Today I love...

2011-02-22T14:51:00.002-06:00

That I got an email saying I was always welcome in Ixiamas (Bolivia)...

AND THEY MEAN IT!

I have a place to go on another continent.

I can't express to the ~~blogging world~~ two of you who read the this how cool I think that is.

A theme

2011-02-22T14:27:00.001-06:00

I need a theme...

Or something...

When I came up with HONESTLY...The title...I was alot more philosophical. I was going to write about honesty. I am still honest...I mean, when am I not...But I'm not philosophical anymore. I want to be. But I don't have time for that.

I'm not going to be a food blogger.

Unless I get married and have to cook dinner ever night.

But even then sometimes I'd blog about pouring cereal in a bowl...Becuase I don't want to cook dinner every. single. night. for. the. rest. of. my. life.

My friend Joe should know how lucky he has it.

If he were married to me.

Cereal.

ANYWAYS.

I don't have kids...so parenting is out.

I'm not going to get fired for talking about school...so that is out.

Any suggestions?

Anyone even out there?

Sometimes it hurts....

2011-01-27T13:30:00.000-06:00

ATTENTION: Another unknown quote (I'd be a terrible researcher)

"I'm not telling you it is going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it"

So - I think this quote was probably written about love. Sorta like that scene in The Notebook where Allie is trying to run away from Noah and Noah says

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're going to have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday. Will you do something for me? Please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What's it look like? If it's with him, Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If that's what I thought you really wanted. But don't you take the easy way out"

Okay, I got carried away. It is only similar to the notebook through "I want all of you everyday."

Back to the original quote that was originally probably about love.

I don't want to talk about love.

I don't know squat about love.

Except that I do love.

And it hasn't worked out yet.

I want to talk about Jesus.

It's not gonna be easy...I'm starting to see that loving Jesus probably shouldn't be easy. Oh don't get me wrong...It's pretty dang easy in my life. But I think that's a problem. So what if I would be lonely if I moved to Bolivia and everyone in my former life forgot about me (irrational fear of mine). SO WHAT...If that's what the Lord called me to would it not be worth it?

I was reading a blog about circumcision. On older kids. Which is apparently a pretty painful thing. I ~~can only imagine~~ can't imagine at all that kind of pain. But apparently it is better for you. And Jesus talks about circumcision (okay, I don't know if Jesus talks about it...but the bible does) and it hurts right? Circumcision hurts...and our hearts are suppose to be circumcised for Christ. So we can assume that it's gonna hurt right?

But it'll be better in the end?

I'm choosing to believe that today.

Time Flies

2011-01-25T13:22:00.003-06:00

HOW have I not written since November 10th...Why as I write this is February 10th only a couple of weeks away...Why has it been almost 3 months since I've written???

I have no answers, and as I'm the only one reading this anymore...My apologies are only to myself. If you are still hanging around hoping I'll be a regular blogger...I appreciate the faith. But it is sorely misplaced.

A lot has changed since November 10th and for that I am most thankful. Being most thankful for the changes since then is a totally new thing in my life.

I just want to leave ~~you~~ me with a quote that I like.

I don't remember where I got it, so my apologies to the author -

We can believe that God alone is our security and love is always worth the risk and there is no better investement than reaching out to someone and locking arms and unlocking your heart. No better investement than finding the time for friendship and courage to be real and the humiliy to say we are sorry. And distrust can cost us the very richest life of all and the price for being safe can be too expensive and friendship is the only thing that will show up at our funeral.

I'm not good at making friends. I can admit that. I don't like to let people in. It is much safer in this box I've built.

Don't misunderstand...I love to pour into the people I am accidentally friends with, or people who I am convinced love me whole heartedly and unconditionally. I feel the same about them. But strangers are scary.

So I'm trying to love this quote...and live this quote as I search out community in Nashville.

I have joined a community group, and unlike last time I started I bible study, I am committing to be committed. To open my heart to the girls around me and make a true attemp at honesty and vulnerability. And love.

A New Kind of Normal

2010-11-10T12:43:00.002-06:00

This week I feel like I've been thrust into a whole new world.

I feel like a live in a new city and am having to learn to make new friends and navigate a new place.

I know that I need to embrace this "new normal" but it isn't what I want.

It's not what I asked for.

I want the old normal back.

I feel like a little kid beating her fists against the wall (I'd be lying if I didn't say I've beet my fists on the couch in frustration this week) begging God to give me what I want.

There are brief moments between boughts of trying not to cry at school that I know God is faithful. I know he does not leave us alone. I know there is a plan for me.

My prayers today is that I am allowed to go back to the old normal...but with new perspective.

But I'm trying so hard to learn to live in this new normal. And embrace it for the gift that it is.

School

2010-11-01T14:42:00.003-05:00

I haven't really been doing a good job of chronicling my school stories...So here's one. The assignment was to "define steepness" and tell me whether or not a ball rolling down a hill would go faster down a steeper hill...or a less steep hill.

Here is one of my sweet babies responses (spelling and grammar untouched).

"Well...from my knowledge if I was to tell What steepness means then I Would say its like a hill, With aWhole bunch of rock. in it Which makes it look cricket (crooked) or jacked up. So I Would say its like a jacked up area full of rocks. And if I Was to choose or answer a Question that says "Would a ball roll faster down a steeper hill then My ansWer Would be yes. And of cource if you roll a ball down its going to be faster because it has rocks Which makes the ball-bouncing everyWhere so it Wouldn't stop and keep on going fast - So that's What I think steppness means and that Would be the Way I describe it."

**WHY DOES HE CAPITALIZE ALL HIS W's"

My other favorite:

"I think a ball would go way much faster down a steep hill. A steep hill goes downer, or has deeper hill. While the ball rolls down it catches more speed so then yes I believe a ball would roll faster down a hill."

HOW DID I GET TO THIS PLACE...Way much faster...downer...??? Really?

I feel compelled to share...

2010-10-29T13:30:00.002-05:00

There have been moments in my life that felt like hell.
There have been time periods in my life when the over arching emotion I felt was fear or sadness.
But honestly...they are small.

I was talking to a friend the other day and he was "aww the things you've had to overcome..." - and not in a bad way and I wasn't at all offended. It fit perfectly well into the conversation we were having. And so, I began to mull it over in my mind. He's not the first person to have said it...and lately when I've heard it, it's gnawed on me. SO - I thought about it. And, over all...while there are certainly things I'd change. I am happy...and have felt loved and supported on my journey.

It makes me wonder what little trivial things I've blown out of proportion.

When I began this post I thought I was going to list the terrible...but now I see I am not. Instead I want to talk about Catherine (not her real name).

Catherine was in 4th period and was called down to the office. She came back and asked me to step outside to speak with her. I did.
She began by telling me that someone had called DCS on her family. She said her sister told someone at school she'd been raped last night and she needed to go back down to the office because her mother was there. Then she cried.

I don't teach elementary school because I'm about as sympathetic as a rock. Not for lack of empathy, but because it's just awkward...but I wanted to cry with this child.

In the moment I could know her uncertainty and the fear she surely feels. Maybe there's more to the story than I could ever know.

All I know is that she is living a type of hell I've never known. So many of my students are living a type of hell I've never known.

I told someone the other day my life is great. I'm happy and content. And today I am affirmed. My life is SO GREAT!

Join me in praying for Catherine today...

Thoughts...

2010-09-23T08:09:00.003-05:00

I was reading today from this website.

I was particularly moved by this passage:

In Our Lord's life Jerusalem was the place where He reached the climax of His Father's will upon the Cross, and unless we go with Jesus there we will have no companionship with Him. Nothing ever discouraged Our Lord on His way to Jerusalem. He never hurried through certain villages where He was persecuted, or lingered in others where He was blessed. Neither gratitude nor ingratitude turned Our Lord one hair's breadth away from His purpose to go up to Jerusalem. (emphasis mine)

I particularly like the bold part. He never hurried when persecuted: Okay, I get that. God endured what he needed to endure for the good of humanity. I got it.

The part that is beautiful to me is he never lingered when blessed.

I think it is easier to not hurry than it is to not linger. I like to linger. I like to linger in places that are comfortable. I like to linger in places that are familiar. I like to linger in places where I feel blessed. So my thought for today is....Could holding on to good things be a sin? I think yes. Good is the enemy to Great. And I believe today that lingering in good places keeps us from experiencing the GREAT THINGS God has for us.

Absent.

2010-09-13T15:06:00.002-05:00

So I haven't posted in a while.

Why?

1. School has started.
2. Cheerleading has started.
3. Life is busy.
4. Cheerleading has started.
5. Football season has started.
6. Cheerleading has started.
7. My graduate classes have started.
8. Cheerleading has started.
9. Not much exciting has happened.
10. Cheerleading has started.

So you get the idea. Cheerleading takes over my life in the fall. Since the girls don't try out until the 2nd or 3rd week in August and the Fresh/Soph football season starts the last week of August of the 1st week of September I can't ever cancel practice...unless I have a meeting...which still means I work late.

That coupled with the fact that I don't have internet at my house = not many posts.

If anyone knows a wireless internet provider...that doesn't require me to get cable...and is cheap...please let me know. I've been unsuccessful thus far.

SO...

Let's talk about the fun stuff...

This weekend for example....

Friday night Stephen's parents took us to see Chihuly @ Cheekwood. If you live in Nashville. GO! It was so cool....and if you get a chance to be sneaky and touch the glass....DO IT! :)

Saturday was GEORGE and REBA! It was such a good show.
Le'Ann Womack opened up and was WONDERFUL.
Reba came out and was AMAZING!!!! She looks good to have been around forever, and she sounded amazing.
GEORGE was B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. - His tight wranglers....starched shirt...black cowboy hat...velvet voice...and don't even get me STARTED on all the video they played of him doing the cowboy thing and riding horses....He's just a beautiful man....and if I were 30 years older.....

Sunday -

also. SO. FUN.

I did the Nashville Challenge with some girls from work. If you don't know about it check out www.challengenation.org and make plans to do it next year. It was a 3 hour scavenger hunt around the city. My teams one goal was to beat the other teachers...and we failed...BUT - We came in 18th out of roughly 65 other teams (i think)...and our time was about 88 minutes.

Some of the things we did...

Took a picture on the Shelby Street bridge mimicking the batman building
Took our picture out Ft. Nashboro
Begged a man in a Vince Young jersey to throw a football to us.
Begged a band to let us get on stage and act like rock stars
Built a pyramid on the capital lawn
Took pictures on top of the ruins of the capital columns
Scoured town for a building built in 1895 (that would make the building HALF as old as Nashville if anyone is wondering)
Took a photo with the picture of the part of the Aycock statue that resembles a rose...(p.s. NO PART of the aycock statue resembles a rose in my opinion).
Successfully located someone with a drivers license from a state that begins with the letter "N"
Sat on some map of TN and took a picture with Springfield (the city)
Did a Charlie's Angle pose with a cop (and we found a friend!)

Some other things we did that were NOT on the list:

Yelled at a woman in the lobby of the Hilton
Asked every single customer in Hooters if they had a license from an N state.
Asked every single person on the street if they were from Nashville
Asked a woman in a skirt to squat as "low as she possibly could" to take our picture (she didn't...and we're glad)
Chased a car down the road because it had a New York license plate
Ran around the city
Had lots and lots of fun with some really fun coworkers

Overall...It was a WONDERFUL WEEKEND!

I don't ever want to care...

2010-08-04T13:13:00.002-05:00

There are just some things I don't ever want to care about.

I don't ever want to care if all the blinds in my house are open to the same level.
I don't ever want to care if everything in my house matches.
I don't ever want to be jealous.
I don't ever want to REALLY care what people think about me.
I don't ever want to care about test scores.

But Mostly...

I don't ever want to care if all the blinds are the same level.

I just listen to people talk sometimes and I don't understand why they care about the things they care about. I'm sure they feel the same way about things I care about (owning a copper kitchen aid mixer for example).

I care if I have a house...and if other people have a place to live.
I care that I can afford to keep my house clean and liveable.
I care that I am loved.
I care that I don't hurt others.
I care that my students learn to be productive...and learn to be happy.

I also care about my feet and copper kitchen aid mixers....but those things make me sound shallow!

Stream of Consciousness

2010-07-21T14:47:00.003-05:00

SO...

I'm getting ready to start the year.

And here are my thoughts.

Teaching takes way more time than I gave it last year.

I read a news article this morning that says that the state is going to announce Proficient and Advanced scores this week. I am hopeful that my kids still make significant gains.

I can't help but feel like this is important.

I know some non-TFA teachers who think test scores are dumb. And I do to when I'm feeling pressure...but I also think that if your kids are learning they WILL pass the state tests.

Passing tests does not equate learning...

BUT -

If you learn you past tests....

I'm on the fence.

I'm finding that I'm on the fence about a whole lot of things lately.

I hope I'm not becoming less opinionated.

My dear crazy friend is starting a new food fanatic crazy thing. Some of it I agree with...Some of it I think is in excess....I think that it is all good. Just not all necessary...but, the problem is that I'm just SO ON THE FENCE about all of it. Even after reading a lot about it.

I'll be back to talk more about raw milk and real meat.

Sorry for the random stream of consciousness.

I probably shouldn't post this...

2010-07-02T19:58:00.003-05:00

But I've had a lot of thoughts today.

You see...I was suppose to leave today for Ixiamas. A 24 hour bus ride. Lots of time to think. Instead I've been out and about in LaPaz, and spending some QT at the Hotel Sagarnaga with my thoughts.

About love.

You see, it's facebook's fault really.

I've been contemplating two of my friends recent engagement.

I would call them both friends, because they were both dear people to me at different critical times in life, but I've lost touch with both of them. Save for facebook, I would have no idea of their impending wedded bliss.

BUT - and here comes the insanely shallow, i'm almost too embarassed to post it part - here goes...

They are both marrying people who I feel are...umm...not very attractive (judge me if you want)...I am sure that they are both deeply attracted to and in love with their fiances...BUT, are they. These girls are GORGEOUS.

Really pretty people...Sometimes I wonder...and I think this is way off base...but I'm afraid there comes a point were people settle.

Let me start by saying that both of these women are WONDERFUL and have both had the opportunity to be in relationships with very attractive men....I hope they wouldn't settle.

I don't know their fiances.

But it brings me to this question...

What is love?

Really.

I would say I've been "in love."

I would say that "I love."

But what is love. And not just romantically.

I love Ixiamas, and Chas (the monkey) and chas my friend for that matter...I love my family...the griswold's...my roommates and friends...a hot bath....a cold glass of milk...being in charge...feeling important...my mom's dogs...a beautiful sunset...my new short's from J.Crew...the long pretty lingerie thing I tried on before someone's bachelorette party (Ha!).

Anyways...You get the point. The list could go on forever.

Let's take Chas. I will miss him deeply when I leave him...So is love missing deeply?
Bath's...It's a taken for granted pleasure...Is that love?
My mom and dad...I'd die if anything happened to them...Is deep sorrow over potential loss love?
Griswold's...I've learned much from them...Do we love that which teaches us?

My J. Crew shorts and the ligerie dress thing don't fall in any of the above categories...but I love them too.

ANYWAYS. I've gone on a tangent.

How important is the physical attractive quality. I'm attracted to my boyfriend, but can that be expected to last forever? Will I forever be attractive in anyone's eyes? I hope the answer is yes, but somehow I think that maybe it's no.

Is having fun with someone where you draw the line...We say it's the person you "can't live without"...but let's be honest...we can all live without. We just choose not to.

I've gone on a tangent. All I mean is...I'm glad my friends have fallen in love with their fiances. It has made me think.

My conclusion is love is not an emotion.

Voddie Bauchaum defines love as

"An act of the will, accompanied by emotion, that leads to action, on behalf of it's object."

When do you act?

I think it is less about the attractive factor (at least I hope so) and more about being challenged...being pushed...laughing...crying...being a better you...worship...life.

If you are still reading...How do you define love?

If you left in the middle of my rambling, I don't blame you. :)

Chas...

2010-06-29T09:26:00.003-05:00

Meet Chas.

Chas is our monkey friend who lives at the internado.

Our friend Francie runs a monkey refuge, but this little guy is TOO little to live on the refuge right now, so rachel and the kids are "monkeysitting" for a while until chas is big enough to be released into the wild.

I have a million pictures...He's my favorite subject.

These are my favorite...

Chas eating my left over lunch...He liked the bowl:

Chas in my bed. This is where he falls asleep most nights. Then I move him to his bed:

My favorite Chas picture. This was the first day I met him....and YES, that is his pacifier...he also has a toy car and a toy grenade:

Chas after a bath. He was quite annoyed with me...but he was REALLY dirty:

And this is the "real" chas. I met him in 2008 when I was interning in Ixiamas. He came with a group...He interned last summer at the internado...and his nickname was monkey. So naturally when the internado got a "real" monkey...they chose to call him chas! :)

P.S. I can't spell check here. It does it in Spanish...so forgive any mistakes

Bolivia

2010-06-15T10:27:00.002-05:00

So - I probably won´t have pictures for a few weeks, but I think I can do pictures when I go to lapaz. Word on the street is they have wifi.

SO - here´s what´s going on

1. I got my suitcase today. That means I have more than 1 and a half outfits...and I can start using a normal amount of deodorant, facewash and toothpaste.

2. The kids are back. Until Saturday

3. I´m buildng a rabbit hutch. Better than the ferro cement tank from two years ago, but still hard.

4. I love having my own room this time.

5. We´ve had GREAT food so far. We start bolivian food today.

6. I´ve had good coffee. Which is just unheard of in ixiamas. Becky being here sure helps things.

7. I´m having to do internet way more than I like.

8. WE HAVE A MONKEY! Named Chas. I love him.

9. We have kittens. I might bring one back.

10. I´ll try to post every once in a while.

Check back for i´m sure interesting stories about how I´m completely incompetent.....

Oh, in sad news, one of my favorite kids got kicked out of the internado. I´m going to go look for her in town to talk to her.

In happy news I found out Zoraida...my chicitita peligrosa...(dangerous little girl) still lives in town. Í´m going to stalk the elementary school to see her this week. We´ll see how that goes.

I´ll try to be a faithful for my 3 readers (thanks Rachel, SFL, Holli, A - MAYBE? and Cassie sometimes).

:)

Beach

2010-06-10T19:44:00.002-05:00

This is DEFINITELY my favorite picture from Toomer House Beach Weekend 2010. I LOVE FEET, I LOVE THESE GIRLS, I LOVE THE BEACH! In that order. Kidding. I love the roomies more than feet.

Maybe.

There was a little oil. Cass, Britt and maybe Anna? got oil on them. I threw caution to the wind and swam anyway...oil free. It really is sad though. There were a few birds with oil on them, you could see it washed up in splatters on the shore and two roomies said they saw bigger tar balls down the beach. It really is terrible!

There needs to be retribution.

Seriously.

Anyways...

Love to the roomies.

I'm off to Bolivia

SO EXCITED!!!

2010-06-10T16:47:00.003-05:00

I love my new little blog background and header. I finally figured out how to do something semi cute. It doesn't compare to some...but I'm happy!

I'm on hour 10 of traveling and we are closing in on hour 11.

SO - I didn't check to see if the flight was on time - Result: losing 2 hours of sleep
SO - I didn't check my bags right - Result...hassle of having to recheck them
BUT - THEY LOST MY BAGS - It's ar eally long story but when I initially didn't check them right, the girl was like "OH, I can't change them now b'c they are already on the plane and labeled." THEN, when I realized they were lost the woman was like "Oh, well if you're gonig to Bolivia we'll just send them there" ME - "Yeah, but do you even know where they are?" HER - "I don't know for sure, probably on the next flight."

I tried to explain to her that I am leaving LaPaz as soon as I get there, so there is no hope of me getting them "later." I don't think she understands that Ixiamas is either a 26 hour bus ride OR a $75 flight + a 4 hour car trip.

NOT EASY!

Oh well.

My mom is in Italy and there bags were lost for awhile, but they have gotten there.

In other news I am done with my portfolio....Well, except for 1 piece of info I'm waiting on and one paper I can't do until I get back in July.

HOPEFULLY they will let me turn it in late.

P.S. there is this really adorable hispanic couple to my left right now, they are discussing their kids who are coming in. The woman has a million questions and the man keeps answering her with other questions. She just told him she was sick of it. They are funny.

Okay. Maybe I will upload some photos soon.

LOVE YOU ALL - Check back soon for updates on life in Bo-town!

I just have some thoughts...

2010-05-26T07:42:00.002-05:00

My heart hurts for my kids this morning.

One of our students was shot and killed yesterday afternoon. Literally less than an hour after leaving school. 3 hours prior he had sat in one of my friends classes. I don't know the student...

but I do.

I know him in the faces of everyone of my students who are living the same life.

I received the e-mail about the shooting last night around 11. I was sad about it - but I was tired and selfish and thinking about my own stuff. It wasn't until this morning, when I saw one of my students run into the bathroom and collapse on the floor in sobs that my heart was really heavy.

Or when I saw a line of students who would normally be running up and down the hallway, flashing gang signs, causing a ruckus and generally being loud and obnoxious...but today they were standing quietly in a line.

Or when I saw this huge black kid...who looked to be about 17...the victims age...hugging a teacher and trying to cover his face and the tears streaming down it.

Even right now there is a child sitting in my room crying. We have counseling services set up in the library but she doesn't want to go.

My kids are KIDS. They shouldn't know pain like this. I know kids die. But it shouldn't be the way this student died...the news said:

The 17-year-old Antioch High School student was wounded and then dumped on Hobson Pike just across the county line in Davidson County, Ashe said.

Dumped is the word that stands out in my mind.

I don't know if it is gang related, but a different news source said that two groups of people were meeting...my guess is it was gang.

But yet - in spite of this...it won't be enough to rid my kids of the gang life they are so deeply entangled with...as FRESHMAN.

If things don't change it won't be long before this story becomes the story of one of my students. As tough as they are...and as hard as they want to be - they are kids. Kids who have been let down by society. Kids who have not been given a fair shot. Kids who end up dead on the side of the road because they didn't have the support they needed.

As incredulous as it seems, my prayer is that through his death, at least one child will choose a better life for him/herself.

My first class...

2010-05-25T07:53:00.001-05:00

So my first class EVER is leaving. I am in the last 30 minutes with them. I'm not REMOTELY sad. I mean seriously. Not even a little.

Does that make me a terrible person?

STRESS...

2010-05-20T08:27:00.002-05:00

I just booked my ticket to Bolivia.

It was the most stressful half hour of my life.

Most of the stress was COMPLETELY my fault.

#1. I waited a WAY LONG TIME to book my ticket - you see, despite what I was told I was CONVINCED that it wouldn't be more expensive. SYKE! (how do you even spell that?)

#2. I just COULDN'T decide when to come back. This is precisely why I waited so long to book in the first place.

I have had this theory that if I would just book a flight I would make everything else work around it...(obviously since the flights are so dadgum expensive).

I was back and forth between the 11th and the 20th. A group is coming in on the 11th and leaving on the 20th. I decided on the 11th. I'm really sad I won't be there with the group. I really enojoyed watching other people fall in love with Bolivia last time. If I think about it I will just get sadder. I want to be there with the group. But the flip of the coin is I HAVE A TON OF WORK TO DO when I get back.

I need to finish my portfolio for school, I have several PD days I need to attend, and I am going to want to spend time with my family and friends.

Now that I am typing it I feel like I should have stayed until the 20th. But - you know what?
If I get there and still decide I need to stay longer...I'll just change the flight. It'll just be a little more money.

What's money?

I think money is dumb and we should move to a barter society.

Ex: Bolivia - I'll come down and explore and love your country and write a book and convince all my friends to come visit if you will just let me come down for free. Deal? Deal!

That's how the world should work.

Anyways...Check back starting June 9th for Bolivia updates!!!!

I'm done...

2010-05-19T14:29:00.002-05:00

AND SO ARE MY KIDS.

Sorry for the absence. 1 - I don't have a computer right now...and probably won't for a while.
2 - I've been busy 3 - S left for Colorado FOREVER (or 11 weeks...but that's almost forever right?) 4 - My kids at school have been CRAZY...They are so done w/ school...Not really, but they think they are. Which is worse.

INSANELY WORSE.

And, I swear they are just getting stupider. If anyone ever finds this blog I am going to get fired.

I need to double block my facebook...and make sure I never put my blog address on there. Except I probably will when I go to Bolivia.

Anyways.

Here is an example of how my kids have LOST THEIR MINDS. I swear...sometimes I think they are kindergartners in 9th grade bodies.

Me: Class- this is a test. Do not talk. This is a test. This is the test I gave you study guides for last week. Class this is a test.
Student: Ms. Singleton...you already gave me this.
Me: No I gave you the STUDY GUIDE for it
Student: No, I have a thing that looks just like it but w/out the multiple choice.
Me: I know that was the study guide this is the test.
Student: So when is the test.
Me: RIGHT NOW.
Student: You mean I have to take a test right now?

Does anyone even read this anymore? If there is anyone out there...comment so I don't think I'm talking to myself. I'll be more faithful when I'm in Bo-Town. I swear!

Nashville Floods: Bell Rd. & Blue Hole Rd..mov

2010-05-03T11:51:00.000-05:00

This video is a street I pass to go to work!!!

Crazy flooding!

Pray for the many people who have lost so much. We have had power and water throughout, and no water damage. Most people have not been as fortunate.

BOLIVIA!!!!!!!!

2010-04-29T07:09:00.002-05:00

The "official" Bolivia dates are now June 10th - July 11th OR 20th. Or maybe sometime in between if I decide I want to site see in LaPaz.

There are a million reasons I am excited:

I won't be a newbie this time.
I know people and will get to connect with old friends
There will be no other new people to distract from my experience (selfish much?
I get to go to a Bolivian wedding reception (I don't even know what this means but it sounds fun).
I get to just hug Nancy forever. Maybe we can talk more to each other.
Rachel and Mateo are married now...that's fun
Becky is SUPER COOL and I'm excited to spend more time getting to know her
I doubt Becky will ever suggest I not eat dinner because I'm a woman and "women" don't need to eat 3 meals a day...
Stephen will be gone all summer anyways...So I might as well peace out too.
INSANE amounts of time in a hammock with Jesus! :)

A million...Ten...That's about the same right. I could write more...about how I am excited to shop in town...or buy mandarine's on the way home...or walk to kids to school, or go fishing Zoraida style (even though she's not there :( ... Walk to the internet cafe...Walk to town...Have a meal with the Mennonites. Eat at the internado. Eat at the resteraunt. Eat at Pollo Loco (Please still be there). Eat an empanada...or 10. or 100. Buy crazy bolivian ice ceam off the street. Go to a crazy parade. March with a lantern.

Geeze Louise...I'm so excited!

Not a full deck of cards...

2010-04-28T13:00:00.002-05:00

NONE of my kids are playing with a full deck...

Baby girl walked in and says "Man...Ms. S, it's so cold outside today."

I said..."Hmm. No it's not. It was this morning, but I just went out and it's almost warm outside."

She says: "Oh yeah, it was cold outside on Sunday."

WHAT? It's Wednesday?

How did I get here teaching these people...

I'm on a roll...

2010-04-14T15:17:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I was going through some old papers from a kid who was in the MAC (Making a Change) program. I send down a worksheet on Data Analysis and Probability.

Example Question:

"What is the probability you will flip a coin and it will land on heads?"

Example Answer:

"1/2...Because only one side of the coin is heads and there are two sides."

The above is what an answer should look like...This is what I got from baby girl...

Q: If the probability of having a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school is .52, what is the probability of not having a b/f or g/f?

A: There will not be a probability

Q: There are 75 colored pencils in my desk drawer. 2/5 of the pencils are purple. How many colored pencils are not purple?

A: There are not 4

Q: A card is drawn from a standard deck of cards. Find the probability of drawing a heart?

A: That's if your first card become a heart.

Q: A card is drawn from a standard deck of cards, replaced, and a second card is drawn. What is the probability the first card drawn will be a king, and the second will be a spade?

A: Because that was your first choice in spades was the last.

Q: A die is rolled and a card is drawn from a standard deck of cards. What is the probability of rolling an even number and drawing a red card?

A: That person gett's to keep the card. (WTH...Did she even READ the problem?)

MY FAVORITE

Q: A die is rolled and a card is drawn from a standard deck of 52 cards. Find the probability of rolling an even number and drawing a red card.

A: You lose your game.

With the end of course looming...I shouldn't think this is funny...but it is. Period.

CRAZY

2010-04-14T14:21:00.004-05:00

The post is not about the picture...

Although I should post about the picture...and the two other ones like it that tell the story.

I can't remember if this picture is staged or not...I think it might be...But this is pretty much what happened when Cassie tried to cook dinner for me and Rachel one time...

Okay.

Moving on.

I have this dress. It is navy and white stripes. Think sailor dress for a little girl. Make it a dress for a grown up girl...and that's what I'm wearing.

Last time I wore this dress to church my sweet sweet four year old friend Anna Kay said "I like your zebra dress" She's 4. And I think her comment makes her pretty smart. It is very dark navy, so it might appear black...contrasting with white. Just what she's been taught.

But today, my high school student came in and said..."Ms. S, your dress looks like a prison uniform" and another kid says "no way, it looks like a zebra," kid one wavers "yeah, it looks like that too...I just can't decide."

WHAT? Nautical...Not prison (although...I'll go with that one) but ZEBRA. This kid is not AK. AK is 4. This kid is at least 14. Geeze Louise.

Then another kid comes up to me (he is 14) and gives me a lecture about how I was old...and old people should never show their legs in public so at the very least I should be wearing leggings.

WTH? I'm old?????

Have I mentioned my kids are crazy.

I guess I need to go give them tickets (we now have a raffle for the millions of dollars of candy I bought yesterday. I sold out. I'm giving into bribery. It makes my life so much easier.

UPDATE:
A firefighter was in the building and walked past me and told the principal to tell me he had hott teachers and he liked my stripes...I told the Mr. C to tell him he could fight my fire fighter boyfriend. BUT, @ least someone appreciates my dress.

In other news Stephen and I are going to Huntsville on Thursday...you should all pray my driving for several hours doesn't completely scare him off! :)

Valentine's Day

2010-04-13T16:21:00.003-05:00

This post is really overdue.

Sorry.

It's my valentine's day post.

So, we had a valentine's day party at my house. I almost missed it. But then plans changed, I got disappointed...and then I found this. Which made all the disappointment DISAPPEAR.

I don't know how much I've said about my roommates.

E is the planner (she planned the party)
L is the crazy, doesn't take social cue's, Northern roommate...she can be really funny
A is in love really. It's ridiculous. Stephen and I had our first date on her 1 year anniversary, and as far as she's concerned that means S and I are gonna just get married.

SO - All year until last week her boyfriend has been ~~living in Indiana~~ living with us.
Anyways...when she did not come to valentine's party because they had to go on a "date." While they were gone, E thought it would be sweet (b/c she's like that) to put two cupcakes in their room for them.

This is what we found....
............
...........
.........
.....
...
..
.

Now maybe you are thinking this is sweet...Do you know any boy who would appreciate this? I hope he did...but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure it was silky boxers w/ hearts on it in the box if anyone is interested!

If you are a praying person...

2010-04-12T13:16:00.002-05:00

PRAY FOR MY KIDS.

AND ME.

I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT OUT OF THE NEXT 3 WEEKS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!

Meet Stephen...

2010-04-08T17:38:00.002-05:00

So, if you haven't met him yet (a.k.a. everyone who reads this minus Cassie and Holli - Skype counts right?), meet Stephen.

This is from our rock climbing trip the other day when he almost died and almost killed his sister.

All are well now.

I didn't almost die. But I didn't do anything hard. Because apparently I'm not the natural I thought I was.

I got scared.

I'll be better next time.

For the roommates who read this...he was gonna meet the roommates the weekend of the race...but he just bailed. Pretty sure he's scared of Katie. :)

Monday Breakfast...

2010-03-29T08:57:00.002-05:00

"It's just another Manic Monday....OOoohOoh, I wish it was Sunday....OOoohOoh, Cause that's my fun day..."

It's been a CRAZY morning.

Breakfast - I've now (at 8:45) had a strawberry and cream cheese toaster strudel, a bowl of macaroni and cheese and a pineapple spear...I'm considering adding trail mix to the nutritional breakfast.

I had a crazy meeting (that I forgot about) and while in the crazy meeting I forgot about another meeting was scheduled and missed, because the first crazy meeting lasted SO LONG.

Anyone else think kids should have to own up to their actions? No? I'm the only one? That's what I thought.

Happy Monday!

Looking Back.

2010-03-22T15:20:00.002-05:00

So I was looking back at some old blog posts the other day and reading them to S (since I won't tell him the blog address) and I realized two very important things...

1 - I've had the blog FOR A YEAR!!!!! :) I am so impressed with myself for blogging ~~regularly~~ semi-regularly for a year. I normally start things and quit it...and while this blog is not as exciting as it used to be (at least I don't think so), at least it still exists.
*This is a huge record over Cassie's blog that didn't even last 1 real post.

2 - The blog is not NEARLY as good or as regular as it used to be. When I was reading it to S, I realized I used to post a lot more pictures...I'm going to work on doing that again. Really, I haven't been taking as many pictures as I used to...but I do have some. I don't think i realized how great a job SIFAT was. I was able to do a lot of reflecting, and thus a lot more posting.

So - New Year's Resolution for the blog...Find time to do more reflecting...and post about it! + add more pictures...they made it so much more exciting.

I SUCK

2010-03-09T15:21:00.001-06:00

I considered editing this. I don't think suck is very lady like. But I say it...so why not write it. AND, let's be honest...it's how I feel.

I. SUCK. AT. MY. JOB.

@ least I like the people I work with.

Boy

2010-03-09T07:36:00.004-06:00

So I just got really excited and was going to post about Valentine's Day...I know - It's March 9th...but I'm a slacker. And NO, not MY Valentine's Day, but my roommates VD. SO, I promise it is coming in the next few days, but the post won't do it justice without the pictures.

For now, I think this is just going to be one long stream of consciousness.

I'm watching a some Juniors right now. Well, actually they are not Juniors. All the Juniors are taking the ACT today, so I am watching about 10 students who are either classified as sophomores or seniors, but who are in junior classes. It's my planning. So I'm not getting anything done. Just thinking, and reading, and typing.

Last night S told me I was "all locked up." TRANSLATION - I'm very guarded. I don't feel like I've always been this way. I feel like there have been times when I've been really open. But, maybe not. Maybe it has just seemed that way because the people I've been open with have been completely safe in every way.

I just don't know. I feel like I was pretty open with N. but was I really? Or does it just seem that way. Even if I was open with him, it was probably because I knew that the relationship was never going to amount to anything. Hmm.

I thought I was going to say I was open with arrogant. but I don't think I was. I think it just seemed that way because he was also pretty guarded.

Hmm...He asked me why I thought I was so guarded, and I really just don't know. I gave some cop out answer about how it probably has to do with my family, or past relationships...but I think those are both cop outs.

Anyways, I'm glad he is aware that I'm guarded. He said "I'm concerned that you are never going to open up and let yourself fall in love with me." I said "I can't make any promises." And in ways I feel like the pressure is off now. @ least he knows where I stand, and that I am terrified of commitment.

I don't want to push him away...but I know I'm pretty closed off. I just don't trust easily. I don't know.

+ it's just really weird to not have to work for it. He calls when he says he will, doesn't break plans (even when he should...like last night when he skipped family dinner) and makes me talk about important stuff. It's just different to just get to be me, and not have to find ways to manipulate the other person.

I'm going to go figure out how to open up and be less guarded!

Hope you all have a terrific Tuesday!

Him

2010-02-26T07:10:00.003-06:00

He reminds me of some weird combination of high school (HS), Mountain Man (MM), and Arrogant. Points to the first person who can name all these people's names in real life. I'm guessing no one...oh wait, maybe one person.

He's really nice. I don't think anyone who reads this remembers HS except Rach. HS was just too nice for me. I mean seriously, I couldn't handle it. He was great. But @ 15 I didn't know how to just let someone treat me that well. He found a beautiful girl that obviously knows how to let him treat her well. BUT, S is just as nice. If not nicer. I like it this time around.

MM - Well, hopefully he won't always be my standard of comparison. Maybe one day S will be my standard of comparison, or maybe not...but for now...that's where we stand. Like MM, S loves to be outside. He loves Jesus and enjoys enjoying His creation. He also doesn't mind arguing with me. Something MM never minded doing. They are both real cute with a beard.

Arrogant - S is by no means arrogant. I feel like they both share political views, and the reasons why they hold super conservative views! They both watch the office, and just like I suffered through it for Arrogant, I'm sure I'll suffer through it for S.

So...This is pretty much the story for now. I'll tell you more later. I want to make a running list of things I like about him. And I just need to make a real post later.

Update of sorts...

2010-02-23T11:06:00.002-06:00

So I feel like I should update from the vent.

It was a misunderstanding. I did not put a post-it on the referral reminding her that this student was in 4th period (the referral states it, but she wanted something that would stand out). Everything is taken care of. I wrote up my first non-dress code referral since the last post yesterday. And God love my amazing AP because she brought me the referral so I could list previous interventions so that she could follow through. He got one day OSS. Now, I'm thinking I may have preferred 2 days ISS, but as a good educator (Ha!) I shouldn't want my kids to miss more days of school than absolutely necessary.

S0 - all is well in the world.

And the kid who got written up yesterday...well, he called me by my first name...and I was already hot and bothered. SO - I'm betting no one does that for a while.

On a completely unrelated note, I apparently have a boyfriend now. Another post will come soon analyzing what this means...because I don't know! :)

Angry!

2010-02-11T07:25:00.004-06:00

I'm just mad...

And I probably shouldn't use this space to vent...but it's my space. SO, if you don't want to listen to my vent...here's your warning...GO find a happy blog. May I suggest The Pioneer Woman or Darby? I'm sure they will have a happy post today.

I just feel cheated...I need to go talk to my AP about it...but right now I'm just too upset.
We talked at Bible study last night about what part of our body we have the most trouble surrendering to the Lord...Mine is my mouth. And my mouth wants to spout off a lot of unproductive things right now. I'm trying. I'm biting my tongue.

Anyways...About two weeks ago I had HAD it with my 4th period. had it. They were out of control...I was frustrated. Just not a good combination. So I went to my principal with a behavior contract.

The rules were simple:

Be respectful to the teacher (me) at all times...
Be respectful to other classmates...
Raise your hands before speaking...
Be active participators in class...
Refrain from using all electronic devices...
Come to class prepared...

NOT HARD TO FOLLOW.

The consequences where as follows...

1. A verbal warning
2. A write off to be turned in the next day
3. A referral to the office.

Now...I went to my AP...told her this...and said "Can I do this? Will you support me in this?"

Her response? Better than I could have expected...She said "Not only will I support you, but if it gets to 3. I'll suspend anyone." The 1st time - 1 day; The 2nd time -2 days; The 3rd time 3 days; then after that 5 days EVERY TIME. "

So - I of course act like this is the case. When the gets are on the second consequence...I say "I don't want anyone to get suspended...please don't get to 3...because I will send you out."

Twice it has gotten to 3. It probably should have more than 3 times. But I've been trying to save it for the kids who are really bad. BUT...Today I got back the referral on "bob." "Bob" only got 2 days ISS. I AM SO MAD. I still haven't gotten the referral back on "Adam" but I'm SO MAD.

I really want to bust in my AP's office, slam the referral on the desk and say "WHAT THE HELL?????" Way to NOT follow through AND make me look like an idiot!

Thanks to you my no longer favorite person on earth!

Funny Things...

2010-02-08T11:59:00.002-06:00

#1. When I got dressed this morning my thought process was "this will have to do because everything I want to wear is in my car b/c it needs to go to the dry cleaners, wrinkled, or dirty."

All I've heard today is..."WoW! Why are you so dressed up?" or "You look nice today" or "Uh-Oh what did you do this weekend." or my personal favorite..."You must have a date this week." - I do thank you very much!

Moral of the story...wear the ugly grey sweater more often (seriously, I hate this cardigan I have on).

#2. I went through an insane amount of trouble to find out the blog address of my friend who is keeping it a secret. AN INSANE amount of trouble. Anyways...I found it out. Then felt incredibly guilty for knowing. SO, I haven't checked. I decided I would check one more time and If she'd started posting...I'd never look again. Delete the site from my history so she could have her own personal space to write. It's been 3 AND 1/2 WEEKS...and NOTHING. All that trouble I went through and all that guilt I felt for stealing the address...AND NOTHING!!!! RIDICULOUS! *If you're reading...sorry I hijacked your blog. I swear I'm not going back to it. So you could post.

#3. When it rains it pours. There's been a boy drought...now there's two. I'm double dipping...is that bad? Only for one more date though. I've just about made up my mind. Unless I can have two valentines day dates...but since I'm thinking about it...I probably won't have any.

#4. When I start dating them there is always a holiday or birthday coming up. Or like this one and the last on...A BIRTHDAY AND A HOLIDAY!!!! What's that about.

Ridiculous.

Hope you all have a wonderful day.

I'll post snow pictures soon. I haven't done pictures lately.

Tears...

2010-01-28T07:25:00.003-06:00

As we speak, he is sitting out side of Ms. Funny's (How I will refer to my amazing assistant principal..for anonymity's sake) office.

He looked REAL nervous.

Which he definitely should be.

She's about to bust him.

5 days suspension.

I know this...He doesn't

"Insane (the kid), I'm sure it will be okay, you just need to make better choices."

She's gonna make him cry.

Direct quote from Ms. Funny "If they make you cry, I'm gonna make them cry!"

THAT is why I love my job!

Ex - Cheerleaders...

2010-01-27T16:58:00.002-06:00

Goodness. It's been an eventful few days since Friday.

You know how I used to be the 9th grade cheerleading coach? Well I guess technically I still am. Are you considered a coach still if you no longer have a squad.

Corecto my friends...I kicked them all off on Friday night.

The short end of it is that they don't like to cheer, constantly tell me "No we will not cheer at halftime," and show up late to everything (ball games, practice, the end of half time, etc). SO...Friday night...they were actually doing so good. I was going to have this whole post about how they cheered at half time and were AMAZING.

Then 3rd quarter of the boys game...it all fell apart. They refused to cheer several times...ignored my phone calls...rolled their eyes...and, when i finally made it clear "Cheer or pack up," they hid from me. Hid under the bleachers...then they ran from me. RAN FROM ME. In front of a gym full of people.

Then I told them to pack up and return their uniforms.

I was angry. But I worked with amazing people. They've all been so encouraging.

My favorite part...

The girls came to school ready to cheer on Monday (yeah right), and begged me to change my mind. They told me they didn't know why they got kicked off.

When I asked what they thought...

There response...

"Ms. S, you probably think we were disrespectful to you. But we the ones being disrespected. We are SOOOO not appreciated...and we don't appreciate that.'

It took all I could not to laugh at the sweet babies.

Life's gonna be rough for them.

A new note...

2010-01-27T16:57:00.003-06:00

Dear S,

Thank you for asking me out for Sunday...thus saving the basketball coach and his fiance a lot of heart ache over a broken engagement.

I CAN'T WAIT.

Love,
O

P.S. Expect it to be awkward. It just will be. :)

The letters I want to write...

2010-01-19T21:58:00.003-06:00

There will be no further explanations for the following.

Dear really cute basketball coach at my school,

Please break up with your fiance. We were destined to be together. I know you touch everyones shoulder when you walk past them, and I know you are affectionate with EVERYONE, but what you don't understand is when you touch my shoulder I think I'm the only one. And you probably shouldn't talk. Because your country accent is adorable. So, I'll be waiting in room E*** whenever the engagment is broken.

Sincerly,

Me

Dear S,

You are cuter than the cute basketball coach, and probably love Jesus more. So if you'll just come through, the basketball coach can keep his fiance...she'll probably appreciate that.

Mucho Amor,

Me

Haiti

2010-01-19T11:47:00.002-06:00

Admittedly I should be working right now.

But I cannot draw myself away from the images of Haiti on the various news websites. I get about 10 channels at my house. ABC, FOX, NBC, CBS, a few weird local channels, ESPN on occasion, the Home Shopping Network, Csomething and that's about it.

SO, the news is on for about an hour or two everyday. Everything else is local news. Not like most of the rest of the modern world who has FOX News or MS NBC, you know the 24 hour news channels. Anyways, all that to say that I probably didn't know there was an earthquake in Haiti until a couple of days later. And then, I had NO IDEA how bad it was. Had I been at my mom's house, or anywhere else with a news channel, I would have seen, heard and known. But in my world right now I have been oblivious. SO - I have heard how bad it was and decided to spend the last hour or so looking it up on some news websites.

It's DEVASTATING!

I know the rest of the world knows this.

What strikes me as ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS though, is what I've been doing the past week while the people in Haiti have been experiencing Hell.

I've been PANICKING and FREAKING OUT about a boy. A stupid boy that I don't even know, who isn't causing any problems in my life.

That's what I've been doing.

Meanwhile, the people in Haiti are freaking out and panicking over the fact that tens of thousands of their friends and family members have died. They are panicking because there is no food or water and no way to get it. They are disgusted because they have to wear masks because of the stench of decomposing bodies LITERALLY IN PILES all over the street.

And what are my problems about again? Oh wait. That's right. I DON'T HAVE ANY! My life is PERFECT compared to Haiti right now.

I don't understand my selfishness.

Sure, I can be selfless. When things like this make me feel completely awful for the way I think and live. BUT REALLY...There are people who experience loneliness and devastation EVERYWHERE and EVERYDAY. When the rest of the world is grieving I can take my eye off of my selfish, shallow world for 5 seconds. Oh wait...but as soon as news coverage slows...I'll go back to my usual griping and complaining about something that isn't even worth the breathe I'm spending.

What is the answer.

How do we move past selfishness.

How do we move past thinking that our immediate ~~needs~~ ridiculous petty wants are important?

Anyways.

That's just my rant for the day.

I'm frustrated with myself and my selfishness...and that is frustrating me about my kids today.

In class last semester one of the professors said "We hate in others what we hate in ourselves, and we tolerate in others that which we tolerate in ourselves."

I hate my selfishness, and that has looked like me hating my kids today.

And that's not their fault.

If I can't be selfless, why should they?

Job!

2010-01-12T12:28:00.002-06:00

Have I mentioned I LOVE LOVE LOVE the people I work with.

LOVE.

Just so everyone knows. :) Thanks sweet people I work with!

New Year's Resolutions...

2010-01-12T11:27:00.003-06:00

To join E-Harmony? (If your last name starts with a "G", ignore that)

I didn't make New Year's Resolutions. I am so very very far from perfect, but I really like the way my life is going right now. Sure I could stand to eat better, excercise more, read more regularly, but a resolution isn't really going to make those things happen. So. I think this is a really cool place.

Contentment most of the time.

However, in light of the New Year, and my being unprepared the first few days of school, I had my kids write Resolutions. Here's what I got...

The blue is their resolutions. The purple is my commentary.

My New Years resolution is to never let anybody get the best of me! No matter what they do or say, I'm going to always keep a smile on my face! I also won't fall for any stupid boy that don't have nothing going for them! :) (That's my cheerleader...not that she's kept these so far...but she's thinking good things).
To Love ever body like a friend. And be an my grown man.
To work on my attitude, keep up good grades, good behavior. My attitude will be positive. I will do what I'm suppose to do when I'm asked to. I will be good in class. No backtalking when a teacher accuses me of talking. (Bless her heart, she cussed me out and walked out of my classroom today...New Year's Resolution DOWN THE DRAIN).
To do all my work in Ms. Singleton's class (YES...My favorite)
Ha! I can't think of mine, cause I can't remember becuase I'm too sleepy. I think I don't have any. But I have one someone gave my idea. Try to sleep more. I will accomplish this by not caring about anything and sleeping until Febuary, so I can do my filming. Sleep is awesome. (I have no words for this one).
This one makes me cry. My resolution for this year is to be better than 2009. Ima try to do good in school. Stop the gang life. Stop doin drugs. Because I know the gang life and drugs aint taking me nowhere. Its jourt making me a failure in life. I'm really trying hard to stop all the bad stuff I have done. I finally realized that I want to be successful in life. And I hope 2010 I can be a better person. What do you say to that. I'm proud of him.
I will do all of my work and turn it in on time & try my hardest. (He's slept EVERYDAY in my class since writing this).
Note: This kid used to look like a sheepdog. My new years resolution is to let people see my eyes. It will be easy. All I have to do is cut my bangs before they get too long. Sometimes people won't be able to see them, but that shouldn't last too long, cause I'll cut it as soon as I can. I'm sure his mom is thankful. I know I am
My other favorite. Not disrupting your class, not talking and persuading people to not talk to me. and to Focus on my school work. not throwing things or talking out of turn.
Live...I don't know how to do that one just yet. WHAT??
I don't have one. That's my boy!

My personal Favorite

To do what I never did, to get what I never had. The life is good but you must know it. Try, Try, Try and Never, Never, Never give up.

Let it Snow...Let it Snow...Let it Snow

2010-01-06T14:45:00.002-06:00

I have season 2 of Lost in the DVD player....
My bed is nice and warm and cozy...
with clean sheets...
I have stuff to make hott chocolate and apple cider...
I have enought milk to last a couple of days...
I have just a little bit of studying to do so that the day isn't entirely unproductive...
I have a great book to read, just to switch things up...
I have mac & cheese, soup, and pudding (you know comfort food)...
and the basketball game has been called off...

NOW ALL I NEED IS METRO TO COME THROUGH FOR ME!

LET IT SNOW - LET IT SNOW - LET IT SNOW!

Peace Out...

2009-12-19T23:51:00.003-06:00

I'm going on a blogging hiatus. Not that I don't do that all the time. I'm just telling you this time. I'm not going to be at school...and since that pretty much is where all of my material comes from, I'm going to be empty. If something funny comes up at home I'll post. Don't hold your breath.

To end about my kids.

Last day of exams. Bell rings at 10:28. At 10:30 I go close my door and skip to the office. I was quite literally skipping.

One of my sweet, precious girls sees me in the hall and says "Ms. S____, why are you skipping, and why do you look so happy."

I said "because it's Christmas break...aren't you happy"

"Well YEAH, but I'm a student. You are a teacher. What are you going to do all break without us?"

Bless her heart.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!

Thing about school...

2009-12-10T18:18:00.003-06:00

Things about school that make me shake my head/scream/laugh/cry etc.

1. - I have one student who refuses to work if I give him a calculator (number) affiliated with the wrong gang. I go to great lengths to ensure he only gets nuetral numbers. He's in ISS today. I took a test and a nuetral numbered calculator to him. He refused to use it because apparantly now he'll only use numbers directly affiliated with his gang.

2. - same kid is running a huge operation of selling stolen ipods, cameras, cell phones etc. If it weren't totally illegal, wrong and immoral, I'd jump on it. There selling some good stuff cheap. But it's hot. So I'm not buying. Anyways. I'm the one who busted them. Problem is, while we all know he nad this other guy are doing it, we can't prove it because their (insert terrible adjectives) parents are supporting their story. He tried AGAIN today to sell me stolen merchandise. Did I mention I'm the reason the cops are on their backs right now.

3. I had a dream last night that I had to take the SAT and that my test score was going to determine whether or not I had a job. Then I dreamed that I didn't score high enough, so they made me the pencil sharpener so I could keep working here.

4. Some kids NEVER get in trouble. Even after I turn them in 5 times before 9 o'clock in the morning.

5. My cheerleaders are little...ANGELS...Or the opposite. Whatever you want to call it. And that is the nicest way I can describe them. Yesterday they lied to me MULTIPLE times and kept lying even after I caught them in it. I let them have it. I was so mad. So...After that, They are walking upstairs with me to sit in my room...and they have the audacity to ask for candy. -

Similarly I had campus security come remove a child from my room. the next period he was back in asking for candy. WHAT IN THE WORLD!

Dropped the Bomb...

2009-12-07T21:28:00.003-06:00

So, I bit the bullet, put my big girl panties on, and told my roomies I'm moving out in June when the lease runs out. I was really scared to do it, but I'm really glad I did. I didn't want to damage any relationships, because they are really sweet girls. I just really want to live alone. So...Next year - Single living here I come. I'm pumped! It'll be a first. And I think I'm going to like it.

HUGE thanks to Holli for her Mongolian encouragement. I knew she was on the other end of the computer waiting for me to report that I'd done it. See holli, you can be there for someone...even from half way around the world.

Stay tuned for some fun pictures, and a funny story, from my slumber party week with Cass...who by the way has not shown me her pictures from her wedding. I'm not bitter CASSIE!

Dinner?

2009-11-30T14:58:00.001-06:00

Is it okay that I am eating supper at 3:00. Er, make that finished eating supper at 2:56. Is that bad? I was hungry. That slim fast lunch wasn't doing the trick today.

YIPEE!!!

2009-11-28T22:19:00.002-06:00

I JUST FOUND THE CORD THAT CONNECTS MY CAMERA TO THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm REAL excited. Or is it really? Anyone.
So...because I'm so excited...Here's a picture from Cassie's bachelorette weekend of...

Golf?!

Basketball Sidelines!

2009-11-28T21:36:00.002-06:00

Sorry for the cheerleading video. I'm trying to find a way to get around not having YouTube at school, and needing my girls to see the video. :) Feel free to by pass this post.

In love...

2009-11-18T11:58:00.003-06:00

TG: "Mrs. Singleton,"
ME; "Yes?"
TG: "Are you in love?"
Me w/ a very confused look: "No...??"
TG: "Yeah you are, you listen to slow songs all the time."

ATTENTION WORLD...I'm in love.

Apparently.

Happy

2009-11-13T12:03:00.002-06:00

Maybe I'm posting a lot because I'm happy. :)

Just in a good place.

Here's the shake. (I don't know what that means?)

Anyways...

I love my school. I really want my kids scores to be better than anyone else's on the benchmark exams that we are taking, so that my administration will fight for me at the end of the year.
I know I'm not good. I know this is a long shot. But I don't think it is entirely impossible.

I realize that most people work themselves to death because they love their kids. And I do love my kids. But not enough to work myself to death. I LOVE MY SCHOOL ENOUGH TO WORK MYSELF TO DEATH! I LOVE MY SCHOOL! I love my school! There are just no two ways about it.

Mainly I love my administrator (who for the rest of the world on this blog will here after be known as Mrs. B. - I contemplating being her friend on facebook...I would be creeped out if I found someones blog and found out I'd been referenced...Not that she wouldn't know. I digress).

SPOILED. That's the only word I've got. Absolutely SPOILED. She's wonderful. Even if I am still at this school next year, but I'm in another house (meaning she's not my supervising principal), I'll probably cry.

Anyways. The intent of this post was to say I feel really supported today. I wrote this kid up the other day, for what I thought wasn't enough to write a referral, and he got MAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FEEL SO VALIDATED!

That's all I wanted to say.

I feel validated today.

Doctoral Fourth Period

2009-11-12T15:08:00.002-06:00

My kids are going to fail the End of Course test if the government does not grant us the leniency we need for it being the first year of new standards, and my school is going to fail AYP. There is nothing I can do about it, and there is nothing they can do about it.

It's been decided.

That being said, if the benchmark is lowered. We may be okay.

As it stands we are going to fail. It's depressing, but I've made peace.

So where that leaves me is this.

A beautiful honest moment with my fourth block today. I was just real honest. I told them they were going to fail. True story. Then I talked about why it mattered. Then I made up some crap about how they don't want to go to a school that has been taken over by the government (I have no idea what that kind of school would be like, but I made up some colorful details).

Then I told them about college.

And they actually listened. They actually freakin' listened. (In the voice of that girl from Now and Then who says "we did it, we actually freakin' did it" when they think they've raised little johnny from the dead...Anybody?...No? Okay..)

And somewhere in my speech I decided I wanted to get a doctorate.

So, thank you fourth period.

For you time.

And your insight.

Peace.

PB

2009-11-11T10:56:00.001-06:00

There is peanut butter on my spoon. I need to put it back in my lunch box. I don't have any paper towels and I don't want to lick it off.

What's a girl to do?

OMG!

2009-11-09T14:52:00.002-06:00

We had a WATERFALL at school today...

No, seriously.

I was out of class for training all day, so as I was coming around the corner from my break, headed back to my class, I heard what sounded like a waterfall.

My thought process...

"Wow, that sounds like a waterfall...no way, 1 - i'm on the bottom floor, 2 - i'm inside...must be the air conditioner, i hope this doesn't mean it's going to break again...."

"HOLY COW!!! There IS a waterfall"

Y'all...a pipe broke in the ceiling and it was FLOODING, not trickling, but a SOLID sheet of water coming in the hallway. There were principals, janitors, coaches and secretaries frantically "sweeping" water out into the court yard in an attempt to keep it from getting to a copy machine or drink machine. I have NEVER seen anything like it.

Everyone stayed in 2nd period for over 2 hours, and NO ONE could leave. There was no water in the building. We took an early lunch break so we could go somewhere with water to use the bathroom.

I'm SO thankful I had PD today. Geeze.

Strange as it is though...these are reasons I love my job.

I realized today that I love it.

At least I love it today.

It's a start!

A new note...

2009-11-05T12:08:00.002-06:00

Do it DAM!

I'm tirod i don, wona du it!!

I hope ya azz fail den shit im tryna help u

fuk fack

Wow! Woll, I apreciate dna tryna help bt i jux don fill lyk doin itt...

U GNNA FAIL BYXL!

Oh wow. nah ima turn it in until monday cuz i aint evngn bi able to finish tuda.

K im doin upm 4 & 5

she git on mi nervous (teacher)

yhu min nervs!!! lmpao...

So I dnt giva fack

Okay!!!she's so annoying

Duh she tryna make us write I b damshix

yea shes bin such a bish

I no she pass dad

het yea.

Mnnshi don it me do Mr. H wrk...

Do it fuk na nai aint evn gon duit no nwr.

I would provide a translation but I don't know what most of it says...

What I do know is that I'm annoying, and my kids are lazy. RIDICULOUS

Score for the home team!

2009-10-28T14:31:00.000-05:00

I sent two kids to ISS today! GO ME!!!!

Cheering Woes

2009-10-27T07:06:00.002-05:00

If ONE MORE cheerleader comes to my room and says "Are we having practice?" or texts me and says "Can we have practice?" I'm going to SCREAM!!!!

I am absolutely enjoying not having practice. I LOVE the thought of not having practice for a week, or a month, or the rest of the year. (Okay, I'm dreaming...but still. The thought makes me smile).

WHY do they want to practice? Half of them don't show up when we do, and they certainly don't actually practice. Seriously. GIVE ME A BREAK.

I guess we need to practice soon. Hopefully games don't start for a few weeks and I can have this whole week with no practice. Help Me!

I know I know...

2009-10-08T12:13:00.002-05:00

I'm too busy to post, but I post twice in one day...

Is it bad that I pick my students homework up out of the turn in basket and immediately turn around in put it in the trash??

Oops. :)

crazy...

2009-10-08T10:50:00.004-05:00

I just realized I haven't posted in a really long time. Life is crazy, school is busy, and things are good...most days.

Cassie's wedding is this weekend. (which is happy and sad). But, it means I'm not working tomorrow (which is definitely happy), but that means that I have an hour and a half of planning left at this point, so I need to GET IT INTO GEAR so I can leave on time.

The weekend breakdown:

Cheer Practice (2-3)
9th/10th football game (4-6, but i leave at 4:45)
4:45 - 5 (pick up dry cleaning...aka the brides maid dress)
5-5:30 (dinner/drive to class)
5:30-9:30 (class)
8 (sneak out of class early)
8-8:30 (drive to Cassie's house)
8:30 until bedtime (hang out at Tony's Goat Hill Farm)
bedtime-6a.m. (sleep...too bad my body's alarm wakes up super early)

Friday:

Brunch/hang out with Cassie
Go to walmart to buy pillows for the 3 house guests this weekend (it's embarrassing that I only have 1 pillow...Oops)
Hang w/ court
Rehearsal at 4:30
Rehearsal dinner
Go home and GET SOME SLEEP/Call/text Cassie a million times because she's about to get to have sex... :)

Saturday:

8 - get up (that's optimistic...I'm praying I can sleep late)
shower
hair/makeup
drive to Tony's Goat Hill farm for lunch
Head to the walking horse farm
Get Cassie married
Reception
Dinner/Piano bar with the roomies
Go to bed

Sunday:

Sleep all day
Wake up for brief periods of eating & hanging w/ Ashley

Monday:

Get up and start it all over again (minus the wedding this time) :)

I'll be back soon...hopefully w/ wedding pictures.

Beauty

2009-09-30T18:27:00.002-05:00

Sometimes you just have to stop and blog in real time. Because it's just that good. At least to me. At least to my heart right now.

I often pass by the person with the sign "will work for food" or "need a ride" or "please, help" etc. and I'm ashamed to admit I often pass them by (I know some of you out there reading will think it's good I pass them up, but I don't).

Today, as I was having what I thought was the worst day of my life (bad class, cheerleader suspended, an hour at the emissions test play just to fail, 2 hours at the DMV for nothing etc.) It felt like the worst day ever.

Then I was leaving the DMV and this beautiful young girl asked me if I knew the way to Nole's road. I didn't. I got in my car, and I saw her ask someone else. I decided to ask her if she wanted a ride. She jumped in, and off we went.

It's a good thing she got in to, because after we headed that way we realized it was like 7 miles away. Anyways, enough time to hear about how she had just been released from jail. All her charges were cleared, and she'd been in for 25 days. She's originally from the Bronx, and has been living in Nashville for 7 years. No family here. When she was arrested, her 3 kids were taken and put into foster care.

And earlier I'd cried about my day.

I dropped her off on the corner closest to the address, she was going to wait until her friend got off of work (he worked at the hospital on the corner) to head to his house.

I don't know her name, but she was beautiful.

I hope she gets her kids back.

I hope she deserves them, and does right by them from now on.

People really are people if you stop and get to know them.

Beautiful People!

I kept thinking "How did I get here?" In this car, in Nashville with this beautiful woman. My life almost perfect compared to what she's been going through.

Thanks Lord.

Stream of Consciousness

2009-09-23T12:00:00.004-05:00

SO I have this girl... Let's call her Renee. She talks out ALL THE TIME. We made this deal that she could write down anything she wanted to say if she would just not talk out, and I would read it after class.

Here are some gems...

Shut up JT

JT Keep it up and Ima beat u up

Go buy some paper & stop askin for some

Your not funny

JT your breath stinks

Why y talking about people get some maths kills because you dumb

You need to shutup when nobody talkin to you

If you are hungry JT go eat a banana or I rather you just starve

You cant sing either

You ugly heffa

Shuttup

If i'm not talking to you shut up and you aint gonna punch nobody in the face cuz i'm gonna punch you in the face JT Ricky got beat up Anna & Dueno make a cute couple

U smelled yo mama feet

What will the sargent do if you step on his shoes

Stuart you thank u so smart but u not smart but on a 9th grade smart u swear up and down u a mathmetichen but u not

JT u just a hater U punk

This is how my babies think...

Notes

2009-09-21T14:39:00.005-05:00

Please read the following note I took up in class today (Exactly as it is written on the paper)

Whussupp Chrisy

nun BrD. ion wnA take Dis Test.

Rite men etha anis duba hard ion lyk dnis class bunt anyways.

ryte! she IYLK miss. Norwood

lol! Bunt iuno dnis stuf im black black people dont know shyt & lol [up] & dna pup rally whus bron O.M.G.

yea. Dey boy Cheerleader wus gewd doe. -n0 yhu crazi

lol, bunt O.M.G. dna homecomin thang 4 dna freshman was dnat bull LITERALLY.

Yea who U go Forr? I went 4 denise!

macy duh

awl! she b b.shixxn 2 much. Ms. S....

I'm sure it would have continued but this is where I took the note...

THIS IS THE FUTURE!!! This is the next generation. I think they spelled maybe 10 words correctly. WHAT LANGUATE IS THAT?

This is what I deal with people

**Names changed to protect the guilty

Things that make me nauseated

2009-09-21T14:32:00.003-05:00

knowing I probably ruined kanoxious's (remember him) life. *I hope this is an exaggeration, but it may not be. this responsibility is killing me.
14 year old's making out IN PUBLIC, like I've never made out in PRIVATE...Okay, maybe I have in the privacy of my own home but NEVER in PUBLIC. This one makes me nauseated for 2 reasons 1 - because it's just gross 2 - because why should the irresponsible 9th graders be getting some love when I'm not?
When my TFA program director shows up at exactly the wrong time...again. I'm trying to be a good corps member and it keeps back firing.
The fact that I'm missing the season premier of HOUSE. Don't worry...I'm going to get a bottle of wine, and I'll enjoy the show online after it's over...so from 9-11.
Knowing I'm not going to get any sleep tonight (see #4)

Playing Teacher

2009-09-15T15:23:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was maybe my favorite day ever (okay, not really, but it was a good day).

I got home @ 5:30
Made a pizza
Sat on the couch
Watched the local news
Watched wheel of fortune
Watched 2 hours of House (in preparation for the season premiere NEXT WEEK!)
Talked to Cass
Went to bed.

GLORIOUS.

Tonight, I'll be @ school till 7:30, and will be doing good to be home by 8.
Not to mention that I still haven't figured out when/what I'm going to eat.

Why? Because I have open house.

Which means all my sweet parents will come by to talk about their ~~obnoxious~~ precious babies.
I'm glad their coming but honestly I feel like a little kid playing "school" except that when I played school, I was never the teacher. I was always the bad kid.

Perfectly Pear

2009-09-15T11:55:00.003-05:00

Perfectly Pear White Tea from Celestial seasonings is my new favorite treat. It is a mild tea with just the right hint of pear. Toss in a little honey and it is perfectly delightful.

Not only does it taste great, because it uses real fruit and tea leaves it contains high levels of antioxidants making it perfectly delightful and perfectly healthy.

Not to mention that the box has great little quotes like "I have tried, too, in my time to be a philosopher; but, I don't know how, cheerfulness was always breaking in." -Oliver Edwards

Why I'm Late?

2009-09-11T16:11:00.003-05:00

So,

again, I'm a terrible teacher. SO...I just pulled my tardy log.

Anyone who is late signs the tardy log.

You get 1 free tardy

2nd- call home
3rd- teacher intervention (IDK what that will be yet)
4th- office referral

SO, anyway...On the log I give them a place where they can list the reason they are late. For example, if there bus is late I won't count that against them, but they have to mark it down so I can check it (as you can guess since I only check it about every 3 weeks, I'm obviously not going to check it...if they were smart they'd all put that down as the reason Ha!)

This one kids reason...

"hugeing my girlfriend"

I don't know if I'd be hugeing someone that can't spell!

Survey

2009-09-09T15:34:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I really do anticipate updating this REAL SOON with beautiful pictures of...

-My classroom
-My dear friends
-Cassie's Bachelorette weekend o' fun.
-Cassie's shower that was FOREVER ago
-My house
-and ANYTHING else that might be on my camera

In the meantime, let me entertain you with some quotes from my students. I gave a "survey" the other day. I'll post some of the questions below with some of the responses:

How do you learn things?

Music (from the kid who dances in his seat ALL DAY LONG...No music, doesn't even care if he has an audience...just wants to dance)
I learn my best by nothing...I just learn
A lot
If the teacher would talk a little louder (note, I have one girl who has to close her ears when I walk by because I'm so loud..I think this kid needs a hearing aide)
If the teacher speaks louder (look...another hearing aide kid)
By a good teacher (guess I'm not one since this kid is failing..oops)
When someone tells me step by step what to do (go to jail...they'll do that for you there)

What distracts you from learning?

everyone in the class (me too, buddy, me too)
People being obnoxious for the soul purpose of annoying people
Girls
Pretty Girls
IDK. I just don't pay attention
Pretty Girls
Girls
Pretty attractive young women
When people talk a lot. Shut up. I know I am one of them, you don't have to tell me.

What do you want me to do differently?

Tell us how we'll use it in the future (welcome to high school math, it's worthless in the future)
That P.R.O. stuff, it's kindergartin (maybe if you went back to kindergarten, you'd know how to spell it)
Speak Louder (SERIOUSLY, Then they'd be able to hear me downstairs)
I don't know really, This class is too easy, Why would I want it differently
If you would have fun teaching, then you'd be funny, then we'd have fun learning, because I really understand more when we have more fun learning.
Nothing, you're perfect (I like you too kid)

What are you going to differently?

Stop getting an attitude (you promise?)
Never talk again (Seriously? I'll pay you?)
Nothing (we'll, at least he's honest)
Be a great student (right, but HOW do you do that)
What are you going to do differently?
I don't know really, Honestly, I just want to get an A and go home

I love these kids, but I'm SO tired at the end of the day...

I seriously don't know how people who don't get out of school until 3 survive. I've been out of school since 2:05. It's 3:49. True, I have a game tonight, but I won't go home until @ LEAST 7:30!

@ least I enjoy going to work.

Yelling

2009-09-03T11:43:00.002-05:00

If you are offended by tales of teachers yelling at kids then stop reading now. Seriously. A lot of yelling happens in this story. And the responsible adult is the one doing it. If not keep reading...because I'm about to vent.

Okay, so God has a sense of humor. I totally thought I had great classroom management...really. This summer I would have said "I don't have many rules, or any consequences but I have good rapport with the students so they behave."

Now...I have rules...I have consequences...I have a good rapport...my students are terrorists...TERRORISTS I TELL YOU!

Today it wasn't even the bad class.

I have a inclusion teacher ~~second period~~ every other 3rd second period for half an hour. And math is not her specialty...meaning I only know slightly more than her. Meaning, of no fault of her own, she's not very useful.

Today she was doing a jeopardy review game for my class because they are having a test tomorrow.

They were maniacs...Animals.

She doesn't ever make them behave
I get frustrated and yell at them
The problem gets worse when I hand the reins back to her
There's a lock down
The kids have a million questions
It's funny to me how they tell us not to tell the kids it's a lock down, but they come over the intercom and announce it...
We're still under lock down, and one of the things we have to list on the sign in our window is our cell phone number
I forgot to put my cell phone on silence, so during lock down I get a call from a 615 (Nashville) number
I answer it thinking it is something to do with the lockdown
It's the varsity representative calling about uniforms
The kids go crazy
(Please remember there is another teacher in the room doing NOTHING about it)
When they got done with the jeopardy game I LET THEM HAVE IT.

I shouldn't have, but here's the deal, I was mad. There was a lockdown so I couldn't send the kids out, but during the review game most of them talked and played the whole time. The class average for this class is in the 60's...BAD. I have a kid with an 11 average.

Basically what ~~told~~ yelled at them was that they were lazy, didn't care about their grades and were going to fail my class. I threatened to call parents and tell them that their child was happy with an F. I told the class that the kids failing where the ones with attitudes. One girl told me I had an attitude and I said "Sure do, and you might as well get used to it because I have no plans for getting rid of it." I told them that if they failed one semester of my class they failed the whole year (which is true) and I told them that since none of them ever came for help that they must want to fail, and if they failed algebra they'd probably fail other classes, and that would set them back from graduation, and if they didn't graduate they'd never get a job and they would starve to death or sell drugs and get killed.

I refuse to talk for the next hour (my planning)...because I DON'T HAVE A VOICE...@ least not much of one.

I know I'm a terrible teacher.

Thanks for telling me.

Jerk.

BTW...I still love my job (I'm sick and twisted)

Top 10

2009-09-02T14:10:00.004-05:00

Top 10 reasons why a fire drill at 2:00 ticks me off.

1.) None of the kids have been to their locker yet, so they have a legitimate excuse for not doing homework (which by the way I NEVER assign, but of course did today)

2.) only half of my kids got the review sheet for my test tomorrow, so now I have to find a new time to give my test, which puts me even further behind.

3.) my room was left a mess because you can't stop a fire drill to put up white boards, markers and worksheets

4.) my cheerleaders get panicky and are late to practice because they can't find their way back INTO the building

5.) kids miss their buses because no one can find their way around the building

6.) it's ineffective because at 2 o'clock most teachers don't think it's a real fire drill, so they stay in their rooms with their classes until an administrator yells at them. in a real fire. they die.

7.) it makes me even more flustered after an already flustering class

8.) it interrupted my lecture about how my kids are going to be miserable, unproductive citizens for the rest of their life if they don't get their act together in my class.

9.) most teachers don't actually leave the building...they stand in the lobby talking about how stupid a fire drill at 2 o'clock is. again, in a real fire...dead. (except the old man, who just gets in his car and leaves...he breaks the rules, but he lives).

and

10.) it's messes up my schedule which really ticks me off...and the world revolves around me right?

NOTE TO SELF: When you become a principal don't EVER have a fire drill 5 minutes before the bell rings.

Cheerleading Tryouts and Such

2009-08-29T10:04:00.004-05:00

So I had to [edit...two, evidently I didn't have an english teacher] cheer leading sponsors in high school. At the time I loved one of them and could not stand the other. Now i appreciate them both...And I'm turning into the one I didn't like. Oops.

Let's rewind to last Thursday. I had a MANDATORY meeting for all girls interested in trying out for cheer leading. I announced this meeting for a FULL week to give the girls plenty of time to make plans to be there. WELL....like 8 girls showed up.

"Okay, I guess I only have 8 girls trying out"

Think again. 14 showed up the first day of clinic. WTHay! Seriously...so we had a talk about what mandatory meant, and I agreed to let them all tryout (Secretly hoping that two of the quit so I didn't have to cut only two girls).

Next mandatory thing. To attend all clinic meetings.

Tuesday...16 girls.

WHAT? "Okay, I can deal with this, now I can take 10 girls, and cut six" Good.

Next mandatory thing...All forms must be turned into me BEFORE practice on Wednesday.

Guess how many girls had turned in all of their stuff on Wednesday...How many were "technically" eligible to tryout on Wednesday?

No really...guess....

THREE....3....Uno, dos, Tres.

THREE girls where it as far as turning in all of their forms. Talk about frustrated.

And we were down to 10 at clinic on Wednesday

At tryouts Thursday I had 9 show up. Everyone else said it was too hard...

Except the girl who came by my room on Thursday morning...who'd never been to a meeting or a clinic day, and wanted to tryout.

SERIOUSLY...Think again.

So 9 tried out.

And this is what kills me...

THEY WERE NERVOUS THEY WEREN'T GOING TO MAKE IT.

Dear little baby girls,

Use your brains...There are only 9 or you

I have to take all of you

Geeze!

I'm nervous. This year is not off to a great start.

I've already had one teacher on me about a girl on my squad with an attitude.

This should be quite interesting.

The thorn in my side...

2009-08-25T20:25:00.002-05:00

Let's just call him Kanoxious. Because Ka starts the first part of his name and obnoxious is what he is. But he's also cute, charming, and really funny. What's a teacher suppose to do with that.

Me: (getting on to him)
Kanoxious: Man, what...what did I do
Me: You know what you did, please stop
Kanoxious: Man, you always picking on me, you must not like me. This is ridiculous
Me: When do we argue things? (correct answer...2:05)
Kanoxious: Right now...Naw, I'm just playing, I'm just playing
Me: Kanoxious, go wait for me outside (this doesn't scare ANYONE by the way)

Me: What's the deal?
Kanoxious: I didn't say it
Me: I heard you
Kanoxious: Okay man, I did...I did...I'm sorry
Me: Okay, you can't speak out in class like that...
Kanoxious (interrupting me): Man, i didn't do it.
Me: Did you do it or not?
Kanoxious: Yeah, yeah, I said it...I'm really sorry Ms. Singleton
Me: Kanoxious, you are a leader in the room...
Kanoxious (interrupting again): I told you I didn't do it.
Me @ this point = really ticked off, but also about to laugh.

CHARMING...ADORABLE. He will go places, if he can control himself.
What's a girl to do. I feel as though he'll appear in many future posts. Look for Kanoxious

AIR CONDITIONER!!!!!!!

2009-08-19T06:56:00.002-05:00

Dear Air Conditioner Repair Men,

WORK HARD, Work FAST!! It's hott in here.

Sincerely,

A teacher who doesn't want to hear "I'm hot" all day long

Two days down...

2009-08-17T14:36:00.002-05:00

AHH!! I'm so excited. I LOVE MY JOB. Seriously. It's pretty awesome. I mean, come back in October and I may feel differently. But for now.

Some highlights from the last two days.

*If you name your kid after a terrorist, he will ~~probably~~ definitely act like one.
*I had a kid come to my class on Friday because he was bored. BORED! Get a grip

Kid: "you didn't call my name"
Me: "What's your name"
Kid: ""
Me: "You're not on my role"
Kid: "I know"
Me: "Let me see your schedule"
Kid: "I don't have one"
Me: "Why not? Are you new?"
Kid: "No, mine was messed up"
Me: "You're suppose to be in the media center"
Kid: "I know, I was there but I got bored so I decided to come to class with my friends"

Give me a break. I made him leave, but of course, as fate would have it, this very talkative friend of mine is in another one of my classes.

Oh the joy.

Missing....

2009-08-14T12:49:00.002-05:00

If you were a jump drive with LOTS OF IMPORTANT INFORMATION where would you be hiding????

P.S.: The teacher next door to me (who is BY THE WAY not the hott coach who's not really hott) BLARES old, bad country music and SINGS all day long. So I'm listening to Tristan Prettyman on Pandora. I like her...and I like this station. You should check it out. Just saying.

And if you find my jump drive I'll love you forever.

First Day

2009-08-14T12:07:00.002-05:00

The first day is over. I survived. I'm exhausted. Two kids got arrested @ school for things they did over the summer. Not in my class. Not much to tell today. I'm sure the stories are coming. I know I have @ least two that will provide for interesting blog posts. Well, three if the girl who hates the world comes around.

Peace.

Feeling like a teacher

2009-08-10T22:04:00.002-05:00

I am officially "in school." We started our in-service this morning, and the kids come on Friday. There is SO MUCH to be done between now and then. Hopefully I'll be able to breathe again sometime in October...@ least that's what I'm shooting for.

I spent some time @ school working and doing trainings last week, but I feel like it has only been today that I have started to feel like a "real" teacher. Don't confuse that with my feeling like a "real good" teacher, just a "real" one. I suppose time will tell.

Tomorrow I get the whole afternoon to just working in my room. Hopefully lots will get done.
I shopped for almost 3 hours tonight (mostly because I'm indecisive and don't know what I'm doing) and I spent $120.00. I about flipped out. I get $400.00 to spend, but still. I HATE SPENDING MONEY...Even other people's. It kills me and I feel guilty every time. Especially when I splurge and buy the $8.00 pens instead of the $1.00. But COME ON...sometimes you have to do what will keep you sane. And YES! cute pens will help keep me sane.

I had a great weekend @ home this past weekend. I'm learning that I really do love it there, and there are so many people from my past that I feel like I have a connection with (family & friends). It's hard to leave sometimes, but I'm thankful for the hard in that. It means things are good. And they haven't always been.

Off to get my beauty sleep. Somebody once told me that nobody likes an ugly teacher. :)

Addendum & Blackberries

2009-07-30T22:07:00.002-05:00

As an addendum to the last post I'd like to throw this in for Marie. They're no you either. I'd actually take either the TH or you over them for miles and miles. Even though I like them. Most days.

Okay seriously, I had this thought today that "they are NEVER going to leave."

Now, I was telling Cassie today. I'm sure I had these thoughts Junior year....that I was psycho, crazy and what was i thinking because these 9 people where NEVER going anywhere...but the thing is. I don't remember having those thoughts. I just know myself, so I know they probably existed.

Some new thoughts.

I heard A talking to her fam in Polish, and I taught her how to use a can opener (yes, you read that right). I'm liking E a lot...and L doesn't close cabinet doors, like EVER.

Okay...this post was suppose to be about blackberries. I've gotten off topic.

Cassie and I went to pick blueberries on Wednesday, but no one had blueberries. So she found us this little farm in Cross Plains, TN and we picked blackberries. They are so flippin' big it's ridiculous.

I've made blackberry muffins and a blackberry & peach cobbler (the peach came from the farm too). I have pictures, but no way to upload them. I'll try to find a way to do that this weekend, and I'll post the pictures and the recipe.

After we picked, we went to this 1930's style drug store and soda fountain for lunch. Sorta like Toomer's but smaller and way better because lemonade was a dollar something instead of $4.00. We both had pimento cheese sandwiches, which were great...no cottage cafe, but great. Then we had milkshakes. I had peach, she had cookies and cream.

Wednesday was a good day.

Pictures to come.

Tomorrow is my first day @ school. WooHoo/Nervous. It's definitely getting nervous in here. I'll make it though. No hott coach tomorrow, but I'll keep you all posted when he finally does make an appearance.

The Roomies...

2009-07-24T08:46:00.006-05:00

L:

L is from outside of Boston. She talks a lot (I know, I know...I do to. She probably doesn't talk as much as me, I'm just not used to being around someone who compares). We'll get a long pretty well I think. She likes to bake (ME TOO!) She went to boarding school for High School. Most of you probably don't know this about me, but my dream in High School would have been to go to boarding school. Really Elementary and Middle school too. After I watched The Little Princess I was convinced I needed to go to boarding school. It was all very romantic. A year long slumber party with fancy dresses, servants and fireplaces in the room. All set in the European country side. Who could ask for more. :) She is pretty athletic, and played soccer @ Rhodes. I think we'll get along.

E:

E is from Kentucky and went to school @ the University of Kentucky. She is super close to her family and went home every weekend during institute, which is no small feet. She says "cute" and "precious" about everything. These are her adjectives of choice. That will probably get on my nerves, but otherwise I think we'll get along fine. She is very mothering and is more of a rule follower than Cassie. Thankfully I've had Cass in my life the past 5 years to help me ease into E. E is very mothering and super cautious. If we have to be somewhere that takes 15 minutes to get to, she leaves 45 minutes before we need to be there. Needless to say she and I probably won't carpool much. She's teaching 6th grade reading, but would probably be better suited for Kindergarten. Either way, she is adorable, and another good roommate.

A:

A is from Denver, Colorado, and went to the University of Colorado @ Boulder. She was last years Ms. Poland International. She is a dual American and Polish citizen. Her parents are Polish immigrants. She loves Jesus and it is evident in the way she lives her life. She's dating (and probably about to marry a guy) 9 years her senior, but from what I know about her this will be a good move. I think she and I will get along best. We seem much more alike in personality (which is hard for me to admit since she is the one I thought was most standoffish initially. She absolutely does not know how to cook, so hopefully we can teach her some of those skills before she gets married next summer. I'm looking forward to doing some church shopping with her, and getting to know her this next year. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, if you've been to my house you've seen, and if not you need to hurry and come....but she loves monkeys. She and L share a monkey bathroom, she has monkey plates, bowls and cups. Monkey place mats and a monkey welcome mat.

That's the roomie summary. Don't worry, they can't replace the TH girls. I'd trade them for all of you any day, but I think they'll be good substitutes until you all decide to move to Nashville.

The Roomies...

2009-07-24T08:46:00.001-05:00

Boring...

2009-07-22T15:24:00.002-05:00

I'm settling into boring. Here comes round zero. It's actually not boring...just the excessive amounts of meetings and workshops I've already been subjected to this summer make any meeting or workshop seem tedious.

The house is coming along nicely...I'll be posting pictures as soon as I find a way to upload them (I don't have a cord).

I met a couple of teachers from my school...I'll post about them soon too...

Come back in a few days, and posting will resume.

Peace out.

Life these days.

2009-07-13T15:40:00.003-05:00

Oops...

I forgot the blog existed this week. Apologies to my 4 faithful readers and anyone else who happened along.

I'll be back...but probably not regularly until the end of the month.

Guess what???

.........

No really, guess............................................................

Okay, I'll just tell you.

INSTITUTE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whew...I'm so glad.

I'll post a final recap eventually, but for now...an update of sorts.

Currently I'm @ SIFAT...I won't bore you with tales of how this is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE PLACE TO BE. I went to Worship on the Water @ Lake Wedowee yesterday to hear Nate speak and Addie and Laura sing. I lounged around yesterday afternoon. Watched some TV...Which I haven't done in FOREVER. Went to worship (I love worship...I miss corporate worship), got up and helped w/ breakfast. Went to town. Helped with lunch. And just got back from a run...I ran into 3 cows...They were just chillin' in the old village. That's why I love this place. You go for a run and meet up with 2 cows and a baby calf. It seriously looked like I was interrupting their conversation. I like to think that they left and started talking about me.

I'll be here till Friday, then I'm off to Nashvegas to move into my new house!!!

Cassie's shower is on Saturday. More Moving Sunday. Getting settled Monday and Tuesday. Round Zero on Thursday!

I'll update sporadically until then, but regular posting will ~~resume~~ begin @ the beginning of August.

Peace.

I love Jesus...

2009-07-06T11:31:00.002-05:00

So, I was going to start this with a picture...but shutterfly is blocked @ school. Maybe I'll throw an old picture in at the end of this post.

I think when God does good things we should tell each other.

1st off, this weekend was crazy. Most of it was good...but maybe not when my sister punched my step mom in the face. We're still hoping she grows up one day, and hopefully it will happen before she wigs out and does something really stupid.

So...back to the good part.

Emily is crazy most of the time, so when we all went to lunch as a family, it was no surprise that she and my mom got into a fight (that doesn't sound like a good part, it's coming...i promise). At the end of the day, I ended up taking her to the gas station...to pick up her check...to the grocery store, and then home.

@ the grocery store, I just really felt like I should give her money. I NEVER GIVE HER MONEY.

1.) because I don't have the money &
2.) because I feel like she needs to take responsibility for her world.

So, I struggled with myself for a few minutes, and at the end of the day I just felt like I should give her $40. Actually, I spent $10 on her, then gave her $30.

Okay...that was Sunday afternoon...Go back with me to Sunday morning, or even 2 weeks ago. Mrs. T.J. told me she had a care package for me. Then Sunday morning, she told me to wait for her in the parking lot so she could give it to me. Well, I was running late to lunch, and I ended up texting her and telling her I'd swing by her house later.

Money is TIGHT right now. It just is until I start getting paid. So, after I gave Emily the money, I was kicking myself, wondering what in the world I was doing giving away money I didn't have.

I headed to the Griswold's. T.J. met me coming through the door with money in her hand. I started to refuse it, and she stopped me and said "listen to me. this is $40, and God has blessed us so we just want to turn around and bless you."

I started crying like a baby.

It was exactly what I'd spent on Emily. The money I didn't have, and I was legitimately worried about giving it away....and here I was getting it back.

The effect would have been totally different if she'd mailed it to me, or given it to me at church.

God's in the little things, even the timing.

Frustration...

2009-07-06T11:20:00.002-05:00

Okay,

so...if you are homosexual or bi-sexual and are easily offended you might want to stop reading. I don't mean to offend, and I hope you could read it all and not be offended...just know that I am not writing this with the intention of offending, and if you are offended, I'd love to talk about it.

I'm finding that there is a double standard in the world. I am hearing all of this stuff about "tolerance" and "not offending" and the list goes on. Here's the deal. I'm not allowed to say how I really feel about homosexuality and bisexuality, because I would be "judging"...when really I'm not judging. PLEASE HERE ME SAY I AM NOT JUDGING. My conviction that a man was made to be with a woman does not have to mean that I am passing judgement on those who live differently. I do not presume to know how it feels...I do not presume to tell other people how they should or should not act (unless they belong to my particular religion, and then i feel as though i have a responsibility to call them out in love).

But can't I be allowed to disagree????? Can't I be allowed to say "I don't think that it is right?"

I am perfectly capable of saying that and still loving the person, and loving the person deeply. WHY DON'T PEOPLE GET THAT????????

I am finding that if i say "I don't agree with that lifestyle," or "I wouldn't want my 8 year old child exposed to that lifestyle," that I am suddenly this psycho, bible beating, christian. I'm okay with being that person, but I want people to understand that the love exists. I can be friends with you and not agree with your lifestyle.

BUT, Please let me believe that it is wrong...you are passing equal judgement when you assume I am judging with out getting to know me.

Get to know me. Let's talk about it. Let me disagree without you passing judgement on me.

*Diversity has obviously been the topic of conversation @ institute lately.

Around Atlanta

2009-07-04T20:33:00.003-05:00

So, there hasn't been much free time. But we've managed to get out once or twice. Last weekend was great. I really wanted to go home, but staying turned out to be the right decision. I've struggled with how to deal with people who are different than me during institute. Mostly, I have a hard time being around people who don't subscribe to the same moral values as me. Meaning, the rest of the world apparently. It's hard when almost everyone else thinks it's okay to get drunk all the time.

It's also been difficult, just because everyone is so open about the things they do. I've heard all about some people's sex lives, and there pasts, and just any myriad of things that I thought normal people didn't talk about. I'm not sexually active. I have a very strong conviction that God created that for marriage, and that in that covenant, it will be BEAUTIFUL! I'm not judging, but it's been a struggle for me to not judge. All that to say, it was good I stayed. I needed to be around these people. And force myself to love and not judge...

First stop...Sweet Water brewery. A huge group of NCC (Nashville Charter Corps) went, but these are the girls who rode with me. From the left - S, N, C, Me, P.
We had a great time. Also, it's a great deal. $8 gets you a tour of the brewery, a souvenir glass, and 6 glasses of beer (*be advised I had like 1 and a half...maybe). There was live music outside, and it was just a fun way to spend Friday night.

Some notes about the girls we were hanging out with. N, she's definitely one of my favorites so far. She is my age, and played volleyball at Dayton in Ohio. We get along really really well. She has a good head on her shoulders. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better the next 2 years.

C is one of my institute roommates. She's crazy, but a whole lot of fun. She's from New York, but was born in Opelika. She short and spunky, and apparently people confuse her as me sometimes, saying we both have attitudes. I can live with that.

Then there's P. She's is HILARIOUS! She can talk to a brick wall. Example, at Sweet Water, she met 2 German guys and 2 Turkish girls. At the braves game on Thursday night, she was BFF with the usher lady. Seriously, she's fun.

After all the group fun on Friday, I needed some alone time, so Sunday I went here...

The Martin Luther King Jr. historical site. This is where he and Coretta are buried, and it is right down the street from his birth home and the church he went to as a child, and then pastored at later in life. There is a really good informative museum there, so I spent some time looking around. There was an art exhibit set up in honor of him, so that was cool to see also. After touring the museum, I went here...

His birth home. There was something historic about walking around the neighborhood he grew up in, knowing he walked these streets years ago, and something about them transformed him into the activist we all know him for. I like to think about world leaders as small children. Someone knew them before everyone did. I want to know those people. It also got me thinking...If not him then who? One of the exhibits in the museum had a quote from him about a time when he thought about quitting the civil rights movement. He was just looking for a non-cowardly way to back down. WHAT IF...What if he'd backed down? Where would we be. If not him, then who? If not me then who? I ended with a tour of the grounds. I found these little plaques lining a rose garden. They all had poems written by elementary school kids. This was my favorite.

"Love is when you like something so much...Silence is when you fell good and listen to the ocean...Conscience is when you listen to your mind and do good."

If only we all had Love, Silence and Conscience!

PB&J

2009-06-30T10:34:00.001-05:00

Dear GaTech dinning hall staff,

How in the world did you forget the PEANUT BUTTER on my PEANUT BUTTER and Jelly sandwich...That is now a jelly sandwich...with banana. At least I remembered the banana.

Do better next time,

olivia

Faithfulness...

2009-06-29T21:08:00.001-05:00

I'm just so excited right now.

#1...I ONLY HAVE 8 WORK DAYS LEFT OF INSTITUTE!!!!!! AND ONLY 4 MORE LESSONS TO TEACH! Praise the Lord...Seriously.

The end is in sight!

I can see it...I'm going to survive this. (It hasn't been that bad...but I will be glad to get my life back. )

#2...I don't know if I've mentioned this to any of you...or maybe just a couple of you...but I've been craving christians. Seriously. I mean, I just want to be around christians so bad that I can't stand it. I dont' think I realized how much I took for granted the community that we all had (together and w/ others) in auburn, and that I've had in Dothan. Even if it wasn't always intentional community, it existed at least...NONE at TFA so far. It so hard to be in such a secular environment. EVERYTHING is F*** this, F*** that, Let's go get wasted. I seriously had a conversation w/ a guy about drinking last week, and he thought I was CRAZY because I don't go get nasty drunk ALL THE TIME. I told him I'd only ever been drunk once, and I count it one of my bigger mistakes in life, and he didn't believe me for a long time, then he just didn't understand. This is the prevailing attitude of most people here.

SO...That's good, because I am learning patience and how to deal with people who are different than me in a non-judging, just loving (that's good...non-judging just loving) way. ANYWAY...all that to say, last monday or tuesday I just realized that what was missing was christian community. I just prayed and cried out for that, because I need it.

THE NEXT DAY...I found out about this church that has dinner/bible study on wed. night and some of my corps was going to meet in the lobby at 5:45 wed. to go. 5:45 came and went. No one showed up. I've been really home sick this week (which I think is a result of no community) and I just cried wed. night. I saw the girl who was suppose to be organizing it later, and she said that everyone was just really busy so they cancelled at the last minute (UGH! True though...I can relate to the business). I was dissapointed to say the least.

Which brings me to today. I knew a group of people was going to go to this church tonight (midtown community church...if you know people in atl. tell them to check it out)...I woke up and decided that I just really wanted to go to First Baptist Opelika (their pastor is really popular in the southern baptist convention). It was a great service. But it was their 4th of July, honor the military service. Which is great and SO important, and SO NOT WHAT I WAS NEEDING THIS MORNING. The afternoon came and went...I went to the MLK Jr. Historic site, and saw the museum, his birthplace, his church and the fire station he spent time at. I got home and decided to take a little nap... I slept through the "meet up time" for church tonight, and honestly, I wasn't sold out about going anyways. So I got up, ate some oatmeal and thought "you know what, I'm going to church...who cares that I have to go in by myself, who cares that I haven't done ANYTHING for school tomorrow and I'll be up WAY late...I'm going" BEST DECISION EVER! There were 8 REAL NASHVILLE PEOPLE THERE! Real people who love Jesus. And in my judgements that EVERYONE was terrible and currupt I missed at least 7 other people who love the Lord (and I know there are at least 2 more).

The service was phenomenal. A retired missionary from Indonesia spoke (which is good for me, because I feel like my heart for missions just keeps growing and growing).

There were 2 points in the service where they told us to turn to a neighor and pray for them/over them. The first time was @ the beginning and it was to pray for someone. I was w/ Jessica...a TFA girl from Nashville, and it was just so good to pray w/ her...then later we prayed God's blessing over each other.

AHH!! So Good. Afterwards...Anita (one of my roommates for next year) wanted us to all pray together after the service before we came back to GATech, so we did, and it was just good. I don't know these people well, but I'm so excited for the opportunity to get to know them more. It's gonna be so good. Okay, sorry for the novel. I am just so excited.

Jesus, Kids and Phones

2009-06-23T22:16:00.006-05:00

So yesterday's post was NOT suppose to be about that...but I got on a tangent, and I'm glad I did.

Speaking of God's faithfulness in the previous post...let me tell you about yesterday.

Have I mentioned here that my schedule is nuts?

Well, let me tell you, my schedule is crazy. Up at 5:30 (or 6:13, just depending on when your body decides to turn your ears on so you can actually hear the alarm)...breakfast between 6:15 and 6:45...bus leaves at 6:50. Teach at 7:30...classes for me after that. Get back to Ga Tech by 5. Sometimes run, sometimes nap (only twice actually...pat me on the back), work some, read some, chill some, then buckle down till at least 10....sometimes midnight. It's pretty intense.

It's left little time to be lonely. But I think it finally hit yesterday. It's some combo of me just standing out here...and getting into the groove of things so that I finally have time to stop and reflect.

What do I mean by stand out...well, for instance. We've been talking about floating the river next weekend, and a bunch of people are taking a bus to the river. It's an extra $12, so I told him I wanted to drive. He said "not a good idea, you'll be wasted." When I told him that I don't get drunk - 1, he didn't believe me. 2, he looked at me and said "why not? I've never met anyone who thought that way before"
Another thing that is new for me, is this is the first time in my life I've heard someone talk about church one minute, and the next use the f word and talk about getting drunk. It's a strange culture. I'm fortunate to have been shadowed by a very Christian bubble. But I'm glad it is popping, I need to learn to love the world...not just the Christian and morally good people of the world.

WOAH!! That was a tangent...anyways...

Lonely...I was lonely, and Tuesday night was just journaling and praying a community. Just a place to be with other Christians, and people to encourage me, etc.

Yesterday, my former TFA crush who's becoming more of a good friend, told me that the Indy corps has a bible study and praise time on the soccer field on Sunday morning, and he invited me to come! SIGN ME UP!

Again yesterday, some member of my corps told me about a great church they've gone to a few times, and said that they are going back, and are going to start going to a Wednesday night dinner and small group study!

THANK YOU LORD! Less than 24 hours after I asked you delivered. I should ask sooner!

Oh, and we had the WHOLE afternoon off yesterday. My response "I have NO CLUE what to do with a free afternoon...I've never considered it possible"...and I didn't even sleep...Gotta embrace time while it exists.

WooHoo!!!

On a lighter note,

My goal for my class is to take up a cell phone by the end of the summer. I'm super lax with my kids, but they're well behaved because they love me (seriously...who would have thought I could relate to African American teenagers in inner city Atlanta). I just really want to play teacher and take up a cell phone. I mean, I'll give it back at the end of class.

Dear students,

Please let me catch you texting.

Sincerely,

Olivia Singleton!

How did I get here #2

2009-06-23T21:54:00.003-05:00

This my friends, is a Bolivian sunrise. God made it just for me...and the thousands of other people who saw it. But just for me.

I said I was going to do more How did I get here's...and Oops....i forgot. My life has kinda gotten crazy lately. Have I mentioned I'm @ TFA institute?

Anyways...I just thought my blog is boring these days, no pictures you know. That led to me finding this picture, and remembering my How Did I Get Here's. So...this one is gonna be short and sweet. And I apologize in advanced that a lot of these will be related to Bolivia and Africa...but that's my heart...I'll find other ones.

I had a moment when I was watching this sunrise.

Three of us had taken a few days off at the internado in Bolivia and hoped a bus to the first "big" town, rurrenebaque. I'm using the word big VERY LOOSELY. Think the smallest town you know...then divide by 10. Rurre is probably still smaller. Anyways...We decide to do an overnight tour in the pampas, which are basically swampy jungle. The tour consisted of floating down the river. Seeing capabaras (the world's largest rodent...think about what a rat would have looked like in the movie Honey I Shrunk the Kids and you'll have an idea what that is), pink freshwater dolphins, monkeys of all kinds, birds of all kinds, and more alligators and cayman than I ever care to see again.

In the afternoon we went swimming with the dolphins. Which also means we went swimming with the cayman and alligators as well. (obviously we lived to tell the tale).

That night we met up with other tourists to watch the sunset and play soccer...and in that conversation we met a girl from Holland. Her name was Claire. The story is simply this. Claire asked what brought the three of us to Bolivia. We explained that it was mission work, yadda yadda ya...

Then Claire said she "wasn't a Christian and she didn't really get what that was all about anyways. If there is a God, he should just care that people are nice, not whether or not they put their faith and trust in Jesus"my paraphrase . Long story short...We got it all wrong. We gave her the wrong answer. We flat out told her lies (I'll take the brunt of that one). We were ill prepared to share our faith, and we did nothing to help Claire's along. In an effort to keep her from thinking Christians were pushy or judgemental, we failed, and we all walked away from that conversation knowing we had failed.

The next morning, seeing this sunset, I was reminded that "His compassion never fails, His mercies are new every morning" -Lamentations 3:22-23

And I wondered ...
"How did I get here?"
In a strange country,
With three people I barely new before I left the states
In the middle of the jungle
Talking with a girl from Holland
Who was fluent in 3 languages and learning a fourth
Was way smarter than me
and was asking me about Jesus
AND THEN...
Even after I failed and knew it...
The Lord painted that beautiful picture for me.
To remind me that he knows my faults already,
and has compassion on them
because my words couldn't have saved Claire anyway
Only my God can
and my God will send me another Claire
and He'll send Claire another christian.

First Days

2009-06-18T21:43:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted about the first day yet. I want to. This post is definitely not going to do it justice (since I'm still trying to figure out why I'm awake and blogging and not taking this precious opportunity to sleep), but I'll try.

I wasn't nervous like EVERYONE else on campus. I think I care as much as they do, I'm just really good at separating personal and professional life. Anyways, the only nerves came because I knew I would be observed for at least 5 minutes at some point. What I wasn't prepared for was to be observed for 15 minutes by my CMA (corps member advisor) and SD (site director). ..especially not the FIRST 15 minutes of my class.

I'm gonna be honest, I had kinda sorta planned to scrap some of the things they wanted us to do, so them being in there changed my game plan a bit. But not too much. I'm just not super strict like I feel like they want us to start out as. And that works for me. I realize it doesn't work for everyone but it works for me.

So. It was good. I got my first extended observation and debriefing out of the way. My FA (faculty advisor) always observes.

I'm not gonna lie. I think I'm a bomb teacher. I think I'm great. True story, I think I'm pretty great at everything. I know it's not necessarily always true. For example, I think I'm a great football player (if you know me you know I can't play football worth a crap, I still think I'm great).

All that to say, I got a bit of negative feedback, but best I can tell, I'm ahead of a lot of people.

And, as much as I hate to admit it...I'm getting better.

THE CLASS:

The first day was good...I was feeling them out, they were feeling me out. I had a decent lesson, and a decent amount of people did well on my assessment. I'm thankful for that. Nothing major happened. One girl refused to answer when I called on her, and for the sake of a confrontation on day #1, I let it slide.

I don't let it slide, but they're comfortable with me now, so that's good.

The funniest thing so far is when Cliche (yes, that's her real name...she doesn't spell it like that, but I don't want her to come across this blog on a google search for herself) told me her pit bull ate her homework. She's one of my favorites. I mean, we all know her pit bull didn't eat her homework. I gave the class this whole spiel on being a grown person, and not lying. If you don't do your homework, own up to it. I understand stuff happens. She was so funny...she kept saying "I wasn't lying I was just playing"

Really Cliche? That was a joke? Your dog didn't really eat your homework? I'm shocked! :)

Several of our students have missed more than the 2 absences allotted, and probably won't make it through the summer.

We have one kid who works until 5 a.m. then makes it to school b 7:30. I'm impressed he shows up, but even when he's awake, it's so hard for him to focus. Today, we started bringing him a coke, so hopefully that will help keep him up some.

We have one kid who we don't think can read. He just smiles a lot. I'm sad for him. I'm not sure what we can do to help in the 3 weeks of teaching we have left.

We have a kid who is so smart, but because of a transcript issue is having to makeup algebra I. He aces everything.

Actually we have several who ace everything. We're still confused about why exactly they are in summer school.

I had great lesson today. 2 of my kids made 50's, 2 made 6o somethings, and EVERYONE else made 75 or 100. I was proud...and I was reminded that for at least the next two years, I will be living for moments like those!

BTW, someone called me and crushy boy out today for our "sexual tension." Oops...guess I need to check my flirting at the door!

My favorite things....

2009-06-16T21:12:00.004-05:00

Some would say I live my life in phases...some would say I commit temporarily, but overall am non commital. They would all be correct. My current temporary (but I think will be permenant) commitment is a ~~new~~ used, but new to me pair of sunglasses that N. found in his office and was going to chunk. I LOVE THEM. I've gotten some pretty nasty comments about them.

"olivia, those are so ugly."

"You're not actually going to WEAR those inside are you?"

"We're going out in public, leave those in the car."

When I ask people what they think, they almost always respond in the negative.

I'm holding my ground.

I like them.

Here I present Exibit A: The glasses

What? It's not love at first sight? It gets better. The little sides are grey and say LIONs and have a picture of a Lion...I'll admit it, I have NO IDEA who the LIONS are. I'm sure they are a sports team of some kind. I like the glasses...who cares who the LIONS are.

So this brings me to yesterday...I'm on my way to a little volleyball, when Joseph makes a comment about my glasses. Basically he just acknowledges them, or says nice glasses or something. So I immediately launch into a tirade about how I don't care what people think, they're beautiful, etc. etc.

To which Joseph responds "No seriously...I love them...they're great"

When i told them where I got them he thought they were even greater.

They got great reviews on the sand court.

And when I didn't have them on today, someone asked where they were.

Which brings me to Exhibit B:Me wearing them in public @ Court's bachelorette dinner!

So all you haters...back off. They look good. I'm just sayin'